y/n woke up from her peaceful slumber at 12 am, parched. not bothering to quietly pad down the stairs, as her parents were out for the weekend on a 'romantic retreat'. 'more like two day dickappointment' she thought, headed for the kitchen to absolutely demolish an ice cold glass of water.
bang!
"what the hell!?" she exclaimed to no one in particular, peering out the window above the sink, where the noise had come from. just as she was about to turn the faucet handle to rinse her glass, she felt a rush in her body, a strange feeling telling her that something would come flying out of that window. like deja vu almost. must have been her instincts telling her to duck, nevertheless she did. and a fucking man in a purple cape came barreling through the window, spraying stray glass all over the place. just. her. luck.
"HOLY SHIT WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE? GET OUT!" she exclaimed, "YOU CAN'T JUST JUMP THROUGH PEOPLES FUCKING KITCHENS YOU FREAK-" y/n's screeches of sheer terror and (mostly) annoyance we're cut off when the strange figure in spandex attire jumped on top of her effectively pushing her out of the range of the several rounds of ammunition fired from the very same window she was standing in front of.
the mysterious figure covered her mouth with a latex gloved hand before speaking in a deep tone. "listen, don't be afraid. i'm gonna protect you ok? run upstairs when i give you the go." he commanded. the girl could only nod her head worriedly as tears streamed from her eyes. when the firing ceased the man urged her to run and y/n obliged.
in a one person mad dash race to the stairs, y/n suddenly had that deja vu feeling again. that weird guy was gonna get shot, and he was gonna die before she had the chance to get upstairs and call the police. without a second thought she turned around and rushed back down through the living room and into the kitchen where a masked thief and the mysterious figure wrestled across the kitchen. police sirens whirred from outside of the house, one of the neighbors must have called. before y/n could do anything the thief managed to stretch and grab the pistol that was cast aside and fired 5 five loud shots into the chest of the masked hero, running out of the back door before they could be caught.
"oh my god oh my god!" y/n rushed over and removed her shirt to apply pressure to the wounds on the man. "please don't die!" she cried as tears streamed down her face.
the man gave the most charming smile, well the most charming smile you can have while practically being swiss cheese. "don't worry. i won't die. i'll see you again." he spoke before his eyes closed.
"nonono shit!" y/n sprinted to the door, almost slipping the the pool of blood, to get the police to hurry and help the man before it was too late.
"SOUTH PARK POLICE DEPARTMENT! WE ARE BREACHING THE BUILDING!" an officer called from outside of the house before busting the door down.
y/n spoke in a manic and extremely panicked manner as she guided the police to the kitchen "sir-please-you-have-to-help-the-guy-he's-dying-or-he's-dead-i-don't-know-just-help-him!" as they made it to the kitchen all that remained was the pool of maroon, not even a trail of footprints.
"isn't that crazy dude?" stan looked around at the lunch table after recounting the events that supposedly happened last night. "i mean don't know if i believe it.. but that's what y/n who told bebe who told clyde who told craig who told tweek who don't kevin who told henrietta who told pete told me so it must be somewhat true... i guess.. i dunno.."
kyle shook his head, "no dude it totally happened, tolkien said that the police went around questioning all of y/n's neighbors that night! and he even heard the gunshots himself!"
cartman let out a hearty laugh, "serves that bitch right for being rich! and obviously her little superhero fantasy is bullshit. remember all those times she tried to convince us she had those gay ass 'super senses ' or whatever what shit was? like in ninth grade when she predicted the bomb threat? obviously she set that shit up and clearly the dirty bitch has got some kind of kink."
"yeah go back to fucking up that school lunch cartman, i believe her!" kyle quipped, "plus don't you guys remember last month when they found that rapist strung up on a phone pole for the police to find last month? or how that one little girl who went missing suddenly reappeared saying a mystery guy saved her a week ago? there's gotta be some kind of vigilante on the loose."
stan shrugged, sipping from his metal thermos which earned a disgusted look from kyle. obviously it wasn't water in there, it never was water when him and wendy were on break. "what do you think kenny? i mean your the one in love with her. fucking stupid love." he slurred.
kenny smiled knowingly while scrolling on his phone. "i think it's bullshit."
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what NOT to do when a superhero saves you | kenny/ mysterion x reader
Fanfictionwhen kenny decides to do something about the crime in south park, he accidentally brings a fight to his crushes house. when she falls in love with his alter ego what will he do?
