Don't Hide Feelings

Truth

Clarke-

There is pain and there is love in every relationship. Some you can overcome, and others not so much. With Lexa however, I was absolutely positive we could get over this, move pass this. The nightmares would be gone, the heartache gone. There is never quite a happy ending in life by I am sure as hell going to try for one.

Lexa. I wake up to her name floating around in my head. I lay in bed for about 20 minutes planning out conversations and processing that I am actually going to talk to her before getting up and putting on jeans and a shirt. It's only when I'm about to leave when I start actually getting nervous. This is Lexa the commander of all 12 grounder clans! She could have me executed just for looking at her the wrong way! But I push the thought away before I back down. Ste yuj
Her tent is quiet when I enter, although I sense her presence so I still enter. "Lexa?" I can hardly get that out as a whisper

"Clarke of the sky people? Why are you here?" she sounds genuinely confused.

"Lexa, if you have a moment I would like to have a word with you," the tension in the room is enough to suffocate in but I keep my back straight and my shoulders unwavering.

"I have a few seconds until I have to train the young ones, what is it Clarke kom skaikru?" The way she says that. It makes my heart melt. But only for a second, because I realize she needs a response.

"Lexa I-I don't really know what happened between us. You told me to leave, I left, you never came for me and I couldn't live like that so I sought you out. I need you Lexa kom trikru. I need you to be weak for me." At first my voice is noticeably quiet but I eventually I am speaking confidently.

"Clarke, I don't know what to say. My people need me too, but I also need to allow myself some weakness. I don't know what to do. I can not not and will not stand down and I can not let you be left alone all the time. I want you Clarke but I can't leave my people!" What? I didn't ask her to step down! I only asked for her...

"Lexa you don't have to stand down in order to be with me... I don't mind your duties I understand that you have places to be..."

"Clarke. In order to be with someone I must stand down in my culture. When someone shows me love my soul is tainted by weakness and I can no longer rule ruthlessly like I was once taught. I need you to understand that we can only be friends. I pushed you away before because I knew that if I didn't I wouldn't have been able to continue my dream. You are my skai prisa Clarke but this just can not work." The words that have just come out of Lexa's mouth stun me at first but then I begin to understand. If someone were to ask me to stand down just because I loved someone I would push them away too. All in all it feels nice to have to weight of hatred off my shoulders.

"Thank you for telling me. I respect that." I say before I leave.

I start walking back to camp Jaha when it accrues to me that I still have Bellamy. Bellamy. I have him.

{thanks for waiting (I had writers block). While I was procrastinating my story hit 1.2k ahhhh thank you guys sooooooo much!!!!}