SWEET || MASON THAMES

Unlovable

While getting ready for bed I get trapped in my thought for a minute, or several minutes. I decide to take Mo's words into consideration. Did I actually like Mason? I mean he is cute, he has nice hair, a nice smile, and he's kinds funny. But I just met him. Also I've never been big on crushes. I've always found them weird. I do love romance novels but those are stories. They aren't real and there's a slim chance they'll ever be real.

The thought of loving someone scares me I'm not gonna lie. You have huge feelings for someone. They make you all bubbly and happy. Most of the time you get hurt. It leaves you completely shattered because this feeling is so strong. And the person means so much to you.

But when I really think about it, it's not just me being scared of loving someone and getting hurt. It's more of coming to terms that someone could actually love me. It's always been hard for me to believe that someone could love me in a romantic way. That someone could actually see themselves with me. That they could see us having a future together. That they can see me as more than just a friend. That I could actually be a first choice. That they can actually have these strong feelings about me.

It's so weird to think about. Like I want to love someone but there's something that just doesn't let me. There's always this voice in the back of my mind telling me I'm unlovable and that I always will be.

I finally snap out of my thoughts and continue getting ready for bed. Once I finish I check the time and see it's 1:55, basically two in the morning. I get in bed but I still can't get the thought that I actually might like someone out of my head. I try to ignore it but just end of falling asleep just listening to my own thoughts.

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Authors note:
Hot girls think they're unlovable 🤭
(p.s please comment and vote🫶🏼🙏🏼)