Numb [JUSTIN BIEBER FANFIC]

"I can't breathe and I can't smile" -Numb by Marina D

"Get them away from me!" I screamed, my head spinning. The whole home would have heard that. Oh god. Cathy had just taken me

into the medical room for pills to help my headache. When she opened the medical cabinet I saw them-all of them. She went to grab a jar of paracetamol however she knocked some bright red pills onto the floor. I looked at them, then I became hysterical. My mind span, my eyes clouded over. I screamed, bent down, picked the bottle up and threw it at the wall. Glass shattered and the pills contents burst out in a splatter on the floor. The powder was littered everywhere and adrenaline poured through my veins then. I screamed like I'd been burnt. Then I ran. I ran upstairs with my body shaking. I wanted to resist, I needed to. I had to get away so I entered my bedroom and slammed the door. Today had been tough, especially with that letter. I thought I'd learned to cope, but when I saw them, I blacked out. She should have known, she should have taken charge and not to taken me in there but she did anyway. I sank down, pushing my back to the door and then i lied down onto the cold floor, hoping it would numb me. rolling into a ball I started crying. The images I had tried so hard to cut out of my brain were there again and they were merciless.

An hour passed and I was still shuddering and sobbing, you know that type of sobbing where you can't breathe and it's ripples through your whole body, shaking you-shattering you. I wished the images would stop. I still felt dizzy and unfortunately my body was still craving the immobilising pills. My body spasmed as i tried to control myself then-the coward I am- I walked down stairs and out of the door. I knew where I was going but I wouldn't, or couldn't, stop myself. I walked into the pharmacy and brought the strongest pills they would let me have. I brought as many packets as i could, explaining that i was collecting a group medication for some adults. And although the pills wouldn't affect me much as those ones at the home they would still numb me. Numb me from the pain. Numb me from the emotions I was shaken by. I walked down to the coast line. My whole body shattered, tired. I walked down the broken battered pier. Wooden slats creaked under my weight. It was old, wooden, not in use-broken. A bit like me then. I sighed and sat down my legs swinging over the edge, above the crashing waves. The sea always calmed me. It's dark grey depths some how inviting to me. I'm glad that I have a home near the sea, it keeps me sane. But obviously not sane enough... I looked in the bag and pulled the pills out.

When I'd got to the 11th one I heard a creak from behind. I stuffed the pills into my pocket and turned around, my face obviously looking shameful. I saw a boy of a similar age. He strode next to me, towering above me. The grey sky outlined his face. It glowed

"Can I sit here?" He questioned, indicating that 'here' was next to me.

"Um...." I paused, looking down.

"Sure" I smiled weakly and patted beside me, politely. He sat down and I shuffled away from him so that we weren't touching legs. I didn't feel safe around people anymore.

"What were you doing?" I looked down, so as not to look at him, and fiddled with a stray thread on my trousers.

" um....." I was stumped.

"I mean I know what you were doing but why?" I tilted my head to the side to get a better look at him. He seemed a perfectly normal teenager, content.

"You wouldn't understand" I said, not to be impolite, but to be truthful. He didn't seem the type to be in this 'phase'.

"Try me." He countered, smiling warmly.

"Um well I would but I don't even know your name."

"Justin." He said quickly.

"Tell me, please?" His voice soften and he looked right into my eyes.

"Erm....ok," I waited apprehensively.

"Well I'm Lily and," I took a deep breath.

" I'm doing it because the cow that married my dad-whose wedding I didn't get invited to- has been trying to stop me from seeing him" I sighed.

"And well.... Today she succeeded" I pursed my lips and sucked imam apprehensive breath. I was shocked, why had i vented my problems to a total stranger that i wouldn't even touch. I felt relieved, slightly. He looked at me. His lips parted, his eyebrows furrowing.

"He's stupid." Excuse me, what?

"Well all dads are stupid really" he added. I cleared my throat, confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Well why wouldn't he want to see his daughter" my shoulders slumped.

"Because his daughter is weak, rude and arrogant" I said reciting the letter and my own feelings.

"If you think that your as dumb as him."

"Why?" I stuttered.

"Well the person I see sitting here is a very strong young girl" my mouth parted slightly, I was shocked to say the least.

" I'm not strong" I muttered.

"Look" I pulled out the pills from my pocket holding them out to him.

"Yes you are." He stated.

"You are still alive" he pointed out, I nodded meekly.

"Now," he said straightening up.

"Throw all of them into the sea" is he mad?

"Are you mad?" I said in an accusing tone. He smiled.

"A little but what I'm saying is completely sane right now, get rid of them." He laughed, his face straight. I shivered. It was getting colder and the wind had picked up.

"It's not that easy." I muttered.

"Sure it is." He picked up my hand where I was clutching the pills and moved it over the sea below. I nearly snatched my hand away, nearly. But that would have been rude, right?

"Do you want to die?" He whispered.

I shook my head.

"Do it then" and with that I let go of the precious pills and watched them disappear into the murky depths. Relief washed over me.

"Thank you" I whispered.

"Anytime. Listen I want to see you again and, maybe look after you again. although I hope this wont happen again, it probably will so....." He trailed off reaching in his pockets for something. A piece of paper and a tiny pencil came out, he scribbled something on it then passed it to me.

"My number, hopefully next time we meet I can tell you about me?" He sort of questioned. I nodded looking down. His hand reached under my chin and tilted it up, he lent in to kiss me on the cheek quickly but i leaned back.

"Um..to soon?" He asked, looking confused.

"Way too soon." I emphasised, then he stood up.

"Bye beautiful. See you soon."

• I WILL CARRY ON IF I GET FEEDBACK :) •