Mist of invention

Part ten

She made me sit on the toilet seat, and opened the cabinet holding bath oils. Aileen kept turning around while searching for the right ones. Watching me, ensuring that I would stay there and let her help me.
She let out a noise of victory, a soft cheer disguised as a mere puff of air. Turning around she held up two bottles.
A strawberry vanilla blend, which had been one of my favourites as a child. The bubbles it forms are big and, for little me, the best thing to play with.
But now, I was more partial to the other bottle. It reminded me not of my safe childhood, but of the now. And that was what I needed, now more that ever.
I nodded to her left hand and the maid put the strawberry vanilla back in the cabinet.
The faucet turned on and the bath filled up with water. The steam obscured my view, and with the loss of vision I got lost in my own head.
Lisa was my best friend, Lisa was an obstacle to the plan, Lisa had been a mistake.
A hand on my shoulder broke the spiral, and I looked up. Aileen's hand. Aileen's face. Aileen's support.
"Bath is ready, my lady."
I nodded, not trusting my voice, and carefully approached the tub. Clothes were shed on the ground, I couldn't make myself care where they landed. And I continued my, seemingly endless, trip to the bath. One feet before the other, I stepped in and lowered my body underneath the water. It was warm. It was good. It was safe.
The only thing above the water was my eyes and nose. Aileen had turned away to give me some privacy. I appreciated the sentiment but it hadn't been necessarily. The things I needed to hide were beneath my skin, not on it.
The plan, I had a breakdown, but I needed to continue. Breakdown over. Plan now. My fingers trembled under the water and I tried sitting on them. In hopes of making them stop exposing my weakness.
The scent of apples was penetrating my nose. But my hands didn't stop trembling.