Anshi :Book Two, Part One- Brotherhood and Bloodlines

Honest...To A Point

Anshi looked at Ge Ban. Ge Ban looked at Anshi. They both looked at the empty doorway. A head appeared, belonging to Guardian Lan JiaHao, his young face astonished, mink eyes round and concerned.

"Are you all right?" 

"We think so," stated Ge Ban.

"She marched in with her weapons, then ran out like a scalded cat. I thought I'd see bodies in here."

Anshi bent down without a word and retrieved her sword and spear. He started out.Ge Ban spoke quickly. "Are you sure that it's such a good thing right now?"

"It will only get worse if I wait. This shit-storm is my fault, Ge Ban. I'll take what comes."

"Well, hurry up. That spear does not put up with anyone but Sya. You have about 10 minutes before it shocks the hell out of you."

A deep sigh. "You might want to start a conversation with a warning like that, next time, Ge Ban." He dashed out the door. 

The first place he checked was her quarters, but that was empty. He looked to the practice grounds. Too public. Same with the mess tent. He spun slowly around. Someplace private that everyone avoided like the plague...

Ah! The Old Queen's stockade. Unless it was time to milk her or feed her, few people wanted to face the Ill-tempered camel. A perfect place for an angry woman to hide. He heard a faint crackling hiss and realized Yindao Guang was starting to get testy, so he rushed forward. 

Except for The Old Queen eating sweet grasses at the end of the stockade, he saw nothing. Then he hopped the fence and moved silently into the small yurt erected to shelter the camel. Sya sat on a tack box. She was still crying, strong heaves intermittently wracking her. He knelt down in front of her, not heeding the questionable straw on the ground. 

"Get off your knees, you just missed a pile of camel crap," she growled in between rough sobs. She was not a pretty crier. Raised to suppress, not express, these times were usually rare, and she had not practiced the delicate art of some. Tears did not elegantly flow, they opened in a torrent. Lips did not tremble like spring leaves on a slender branch; they compressed and twisted. They were as raw and honest as she was.

"It's not like I haven't moved a ton of the stuff in my lifetime. One of my owners raised fiends like these. Take your time, but your spear is causing my hand to tingle, and I hate to think what she would do to me if I laid her down in this muck."

She drew in a shuddering breath and wiped her nose on her sleeve, removing the spear. She propped her against the wall, whispering an apology to the spirit within. Then she sat back down next to him.

"I am sorry, you know." He said softly.

"Then prove it. The camp has only been aware that you were ill. That is all they need to be aware of. Get back to the leader that they know. It is all you need to do for me."

"Agreed."

"Look. I know the hell you both are going through. I don't think you will ever get a man like Minister Han out of your heart. And you really should not. He is an unforgettable person. But you must shut it away while you lead us." 

"How well did you get to know him?

""I met with him a few times before we left Qian."

"Why?"

She was silent for a moment. "It was perfectly innocent. He is utterly devoted to you and your needs. I have met few like him. He was worried about you. He...tasked me with watching over you and helping you when you needed it. I did not expect a challenge right away, like the last few weeks." She watched in her turn as he struggled to suppress his emotions.

"It is natural to grieve, Anshi. You just need to learn how to do it, without the anger and resentment that you feel, leading the way. You grew up shutting everything off. Not only that, but you were never allowed to be a normal boy. Furthermore, when you did open up, you fell in love with both feet and your entire heart. Still, you answered the call to duty as we all do, and there was a heavy price when you accepted that burden. Now you must live with that choice. We all must live with our choices." She rose and slipped her sword in its scabbard, then reclaimed her irritable spear.

"Let's head back before Lan Ge Ban and the rest come looking."

"In a moment... I am glad you got to know Han as I did. It helps."

" He is formidable. He left me little choice in the matter." 

"He never gives up."

"You have no idea. By the way, expect a scolding from him. I had to rat you out. I needed to see if you had returned to Qian." 

Anshi went pale. "Oh, gods!"

"Yeah."

"How did you get a courier to him so fast?"

"He sent me away with some of his personal butterflies. I still have twenty-three left. In case."

"So the two of you have been colluding against me..."

"More like for you. Just remember...twenty-three more to send, Chieftain."

"You are no Guardian, you are a conspirator."

She laughed at him for the first time in a while. "I like the sound of that. Whatever it takes."

"You would."

Lan Ge Ban saw them coming. He and Dawa Tuya were waiting, with luncheon and tea. Anshi swept his silver-haired Aunt in a crushing embrace, and she held on as he whispered his apology in his ear. She patted his back."It's okay. You will do better in the future. The next one to see is my rather angry brother. Uncle Maral will not be so easy to placate. Anshi blanched at the thought. His Uncle would be terribly disappointed in him. She read his face. 

"He is upset, but he is worried as well."

"I had some contact with Davaajav earlier today. He sensed my despair. He has taught me some techniques to help me to try and regain my control. I hope they will."

"These things help, but only when you want them to, my nephew." Her eyes were serious and gently compelling. "You must work hard. The next step, visiting the monastery, will be emotional and difficult. You must become stronger as we make our way there. Now finish eating." 

She motioned for Sya to follow her, 

and they left the yurt."Are you alright?"

"Yes. Somewhat. And I have said nothing of deeper feelings. Nor will I. He loves Han and always will. That matter is off the table for any discussion. Forever."

"I am sorry that you carry this burden, my girl."

"Don't be. It is my fate. I will follow him in any way the gods allow."