Breath Of Death

Faith.

I circled in the woods around the farm trying to look for Javier and Blessing all night. I had nothing but the light from the burning wood on the farm to guide me. I stayed close by until I started to see the dead approaching. It was too dark for me to follow Javier's footsteps in the snow and it was too dangerous to stay where I was so I walked in the forest cautiously until morning. I did manage to find my bag before I left the farm so I was relieved when I still had Serene's necklace and ring in it.
So much shit has happened since the world went to hell. The fear of being alone flooded my mind once again. The image of the place I was in before I even met Serene came along as well. The long months of loneliness I suffered was unbearable and now I have to do it all over again. As much as I wanted to stay by Serene's side and beg for her to come and save me, I knew she couldn't. Seeing that blossom tree sizzling it's beautiful petals and life away made me come to that reality real quick. But even after all of that, the one thing that brought me some peace was knowing that Blessing is safe. I needed to find a way to get back to them though. I headed in a direction I thought was best and kept moving.
   I had walked for an entire day before I came across a couple houses. I searched them completely but had no luck of finding any resources or Javier. Our community before probably searched them already.
I continued on foot for about three days hoping I would see some sign of Javier and Blessing. My hope of ever seeing them again decreasing as each day passed without them. I was hungry and exhausted and cold. Sometimes I would just sleep in cars with the doors locked because I couldn't move anymore on my probably frostbitten feet.
When I couldn't sleep, I would cry giving myself panic attacks. I had them often since I could barely sleep. They were one of the only consistent things in my life other than the bags under my eyes.
Winter slowly began to fade as I continued to keep walking and the snow melted the more the sun came out. It was a good sign that spring was coming in but the ground was also very wet which meant building a fire would be difficult if I needed to get warm.
Eventually I made it to a town. The second I saw building after building, a wave of relief and nervousness hit me the closer I got. I was steady and careful as I approached the buildings. They were run down and moldy from the lack of care but a lot of things seemed to be untouched in some. The world really stopped when the outbreak came. No one really had any time to prepare either until it was too late so seeing things still preserved wasn't unusual but it felt rare to see. Considering the fact that everyone went crazy and robbed every store they could find whether they needed what they grabbed or not.
I didn't weigh much so I had to keep in mind not to grab more than what I could carry. I found a can of carrots and a can of peas which I stabbed with a cork screw until I got them open. I never ate anything so fast before I almost threw it up. When I was finished I looked around a little more and to my surprise I found something to drink. Ironically it was my mortal enemy before the apocalypse. Ginger Ale. I hated drinking it growing up when my mom would make me but in this moment, it never looked so perfect in my eyes. There it was taunting me saying "hey! I know you hated me for all of your life but here I am and you know you have to drink me!"
The cold air in the building kept it chilled as well making it taste even better. A part of me got sad when I finished it because I knew it was probably going to be a while before I ever got to have that kind of luxury again. I sat on the floor spinning the bottle around for a little while before I decided to get back up and keep looking.
I found an old magazine with some stupid celebrity drama blasted on the cover and a thought crossed my mind. There's no way Mariah Carey survived this thing. I mean what could she do? Whistle sing their ears off? Beyoncé, however, I know she's probably got the whole beehive underground somewhere living the life. I wish I knew. People don't think about that though. It's all just about what we're gonna eat next or where we're gonna sleep.
I used to be like that, but Serene pulled me out of it. With her being gone and me being by myself, I've started to crawl back into that little shell I was in before and keep my thoughts to myself.
After about a month of being alone and wandering around different towns, I really started to go crazy. Like a skittish cat that runs at the slightest movement. I would see people and immediately start running. Sometimes I would stalk them if it was too dark to run and camp until they left.
When I was alone, I would find ways to occupy my time during the day like playing a board game I found in a closet or dressing up in cute clothes I found in dressers. I did fall trying to grab a hat from on top of a closet one time and took the whole thing with me so I kind of stopped playing dress up after that. It left a pretty big bump on my head too.