Degrees of Separation | Sebastian Sallow

Chapter Seventeen - Malfoy Manor

Please see comments for any author's notes/warnings.

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I am a terrible liar; I always have been.

At least, to those that I loved, it was difficult to look them in the eyes in fear that they would always be able to see the truth that lied within me.

A person's eyes would always be a one way mirror into their souls—

— and mine just so happened to be crystal clear.

But I have learned, after many lost days, that if I keep my eyes as closed as my heart, nobody would ever be able to break through.

So when I kiss Killian now, I kiss him harshly with eyes closed, fingers desperately curling over his shoulders as to draw him nearer, lying to myself when I say that this feels the way that it should anymore.

That this makes me feel better.

That it does not only temporarily stitch together my bleeding heart.

Not that much of that mattered, any longer. It felt good enough, regardless— I needed it. I needed to get lost in his touch, in his voice when he stuttered my name with a waning sort of want.

I needed him to take away my pain, even if I knew that it would not last forever.

Killian pulls away from me after a moment, but only long enough to roll me fully onto my back. My knees part instinctually, accepting his weight as he settles between my legs. "Come to England with me today," he whispers, bringing a hand to my throat, tilting my chin enough that his words melt into the flesh beneath my jaw.

"That's... that's awfully far." My words are hushed, breathy amidst his needy touch. I feel him everywhere, eyes befallen slowly as his mouth sucks gently on my neck. His hands slide down the length of my body, teasing down my thigh, raising goosebumps in their wake.

"Well... we don't have any classes today..." He trails his words out along my shoulder, kissing a path towards the other, teeth nipping along the way. "And... we haven't been on a proper date in so long..." He pauses when I shiver against the touch of his mouth, his bite, grinning against my shoulder as he travels back up to my lips.

"And, because my father really wants to meet you."

Killian's hand dips beneath the blankets, then, fingers flirting across my stomach, pressing me further down into the mattress. I know that I had a response come to mind just moments ago, but it too easily gets lost to the pressure of his touch as it slips between my legs.

"Is this... is this your way of asking me on a date?" My words come out in short, pathetic little gasps as his wandering hands set me ablaze.

"Just say yes," he whispers, groans— practically demands— with his lips gently ghosting across my temple, the shell of my ear, chuckling softly when he feels the way my body responds to his eager ministrations.

If I had been breathing at all before, I was not any longer, and I find myself nodding back against his pillows, reaching up to pull his mouth back down to my own.

"I'll go," I pant, almost desperately into his mouth, hiking a leg further up his hip, sliding my arms around his shoulders. "You got me. I-I'll go with you."

Killian's smile of satisfaction quickly melts into gasping, whimpering little breaths against my mouth as we move together, and my fingernails mark my regrets into his back as I surrender myself again and again, hoping that one day this would no longer be a lie.