Oh, That Boy (Who Makes My Heart Clench Full Of Love)

I

Heart wonders what it would have been like to be classmates with Liming. If he didn't turn deaf, he might have had that high-school romance, like those famous western movies that he has seen.

He's certain he would have fallen first.

There's no way Heart wouldn't have noticed that smile that irradiates the most warming feeling and that creeps deep inside his stomach, making it flip, and rumble and that continues till the tips of his curled toes.

He imagines himself looking at Liming, elbows propped up on the table, holding his head on his hands while admiring the boy from a distance.

He wonders a lot of all those "what ifs" while he's alone in his house.

Since Liming came to his life, everything that he once called home started to revolve around said boy, turning the piercing silence into something he could bear, without feeling the need to rip his throat.

3 years since the incident happened, and he hardly remembers how to use his voice. He used to repeat his own name, all over again, like a mantra, so he wouldn't forget how to pronounce it.

He stopped doing it last year. Until Liming appeared with that bag full of tasty chicken and switched the lights on in Heart's life, those that were once shutted down by himself.

He now finds himself trying to remember the way his throat should move in order to produce sound, he finds himself at 6pm, waiting for Liming to come back home, while he whispers his own name, just like a year ago. With the difference, this time, of the giddiness he feels for showing Liming his little advances.

Heart is certainly a hopeless romantic, and he has known that since he was 6 and fell in love with his best friend. It was pure, and childish-like. Yet he never fell for any other like he fell for Liming. Hard, and without a mattress to hold his weight. It was so sudden. One day he was signing angrily to Liming, and the other he was impatiently waiting for him to watch that movie he wanted to watch months ago, that didn't have subtitles, knowing that Liming would be more than fine with being his ears.

He was in love, and afraid. He never felt something like this before. He didn't know what to do with his harmering heart on his chest, he was scared it would jump off onto Liming hands. He was afraid of his family reactions. He was terrified of Liming's reaction the most.

All of that was washed away when Liming would enthusiastically write down with his shaky handwriting about his day, or when he would frown cutely, trying to remember or understand a specific sign.

So Heart would contendly hold onto his feelings, his delusions and his love, all for that boy whose eyes shined like stars. Because at the end of the day, everything was fine when he found himself cradled on top of Liming with his hands on his back, writing random patterns, while he rested his head on Liming's chest, feeling the other's heart. Beating loudly on his ribcage, and matching his own.

Both of them sighing calmly while their legs intertwined and his hands played like other times.

Even in his world full of silence, Heart could clearly hear Liming's bright presence in his life. Making his cheeks hurt from smiling and wanting to scream to the wind how much he loved that boy, the one who made his heart clench full of love.

it was liming's introspection before, now is heart's. i hope you liked this <4