𝙹𝚄𝙳𝙰𝙷 𝙷𝙰𝚁𝚃
✟✟✟
MAY 19th
Hearing a knock at my door, I made the decision to ignore it. I really didn't want to be bothered, not after the news I got this morning.
I hadn't even bothered to leave my dorm. I didn't go to any of my classes and I doubted I'd be able to get up and go to them for the rest of the week. Pretend like everything was all good when it wasn't?
Nah, that ain't me.
I got the wind knocked out of me when my mom called to tell me the news and I wasn't even sure I would recover from it.
"Judah...please let me in."
Soleil's voice, muffled through the door but still clear as day. I don't know why but hearing her call out for me only made me sadder. All the emotions I was trying to shove down came rushing up and I forced my face into my pillow, trying to keep from crying.
"JuJu, please just let me know that you're okay...."
I picked my head up and took a deep breath, forcing myself up and out of my bed. I walked over to the door and stared at the knob, hesitating to unlock it and look her in the face. I sniffled, pinching my nose between my fingers and blinking my tears away before unlocking the door. I pulled it open slowly and saw her standing there, soaking wet with the evident look of concern on her face.
I looked over at the window and was surprised to see the downpour happening. I hadn't even noticed that it was raining.
"Judah?"
I looked down at her and chewed my bottom lip. Her big brown eyes stared up at me and I shook my head.
"Ion think ima ever be okay again bro..." I said softly and she wasted no time entering my room. She shut the door for me and immediately dropped her bags on the floor, proceeding to engulf me in a hug. Soaking wet and everything, but I let her hug me anyway.
"I'm so sorry."
She squeezed me tight and it was like an immediate switch inside of me. Flood gates opened and I started balling like a baby.
Embarrassing.
Soleil never let me go though, she continued to hold onto me as tight as she could and rubbed her hand back and forth across my back. Allowing me to get out all of my emotions over my grandfather's passing.
It's like....I knew it was coming. We'd all been preparing for it. Me, my sister and my mom, but it didn't mean it hurt any less. It didn't mean that the facing it forreal was easier.
I'd already grown accustomed to not hearing his voice, ya know? He barely spoke toward the end of it all. If he did speak, it was like everyone was a stranger to him. But now, knowing that I'll never get to hear his voice again ever..... it was too permanent for me to cope with.
"Come...come on. Let's lay down." She said softly to me, her hand now resting comfortingly on the nape of my neck. She let go and stepped aside.
I made my way back to my bed and sat there. Watching her are she got out of her wet clothes. She grabbed herself one of my towels and tried off before taking a t-shirt out of my drawer and draping it over her body. She climbed in beside me and sat closer to the wall, waiting for me to come closer.
