My Sip Of Your Poison -Jason Blossom

Chapter 13

I look at her my eyes melancholy

my voice starts to crack and shake

''t-that can't be p-possible right?''

Cheryl stares at me for a moment fitting the melancholy mood and looks down

no words were said but I understood 

it was as if she did speak

the silence spoke louder than words

I slid down onto our pale green floors

I looked around tears starting to fill up my eyes

''How am I, How can I tell Jason''

she sighs and I look around as a tear drops and I comb my hands through my hair

''I'm going to ruin everything''

My head drops down burying into my knees

I let out a few loud sobs and rock back and forth 

I continue before looking up at Cheryl continuing to cry reaching my hand out as if to grab something before throwing the paper towel roll and the stand crashing onto the ground and slamming my fist onto a wall

as hard as possible

with as much strength as I could

but it was almost like

almost like I was numb

My fist pounded into the wall

knuckles bleeding

but I felt absolutely nothing

She walks up to me and wraps her arms around me squeezing me as tight as possible

no words were shared but I rested my chin on her shoulder

and we rocked back and forth

I cried

and she cried 

she cried for me

and that was the most comforting thing she could give me

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I walk out of the bathroom Cheryl and a few cheer kids surrounding me including Veronica

I look down Chery and Veronicas arms around me

I felt so ashamed , so worthless, so used

so

disgusted

that I could do this to Jason

that I could possibly put him through this

to be forced to help me

and this possible child

We walk towards the front door of the gym my wrist wrapped

my makeup smudged

as we walk out the football team sits on the bleachers their eyes wondering towards me as gossip breaks out

Jason drinks water in the other direction before his arm is tapped by Reggie

''Hey Jason Is that not your girl''

he turns around his eyes setting on me before dropping is bottle onto the floor speeding down the bleachers in my direction

I don't even see him so caught up in my own pain 

he yells out my name and I look back telling Cheryl we need to walk faster

she nods and we start to race down the halls

he keeps going racing through every corner yelling my name as others stare

''Esme!''

I keep going turning back and facing forward once more

''Esme!'' he finally turns me around

he faces me looking at me in shock

''what's wrong w-what happened to your hand, why are your crying why are you ignoring me''

I feel horrible

my heart crushes for him

he begs me to tell him as if he did something wrong

and I hate lying to him ?I do I really do

but is it so bad if it's because you love him

is it so bad if I did lie?

for him?

for his future?

maybe I could go back to New York 

take this possible child with me

where I can't harm his career

I look down quickly as tears fill my eyes

he lifts my head up with his fingers pushing my chin up

''what happened w-why are you ignoring me''

I quickly wipe my tears and give a small smile

''it's nothing just cramps''

he tries to call out my name but I walk away speeding towards Cheryl's car

I sit myself and she asks where to

I sit and think for a moment 

thinking about what the right decision would be

where would I be away from him

oh it pains me to say that

how it saddens me

''New York''