🌠Ambivalence (BWWM)🌠

PROLOGUE

THE PAST

DIONNAH'S POV

 

It was almost the end of my final year in high school, the moment I was dreading the most. The moment when I had to part from my one true love, the man of my dreams, the one who held my heart, Derick.

Derick and I had been together forever. We were always doing everything together, from studying to going to church, going to school, or even just hanging out. Our parents were really good friends. I knew they were secretly planning our wedding and even picking out baby names behind our backs.

Who could blame them, I was also doing some planning in my head.

Since Derick took my virginity, we'd become even closer. I felt confident about our love and hoped that we would be together forever.

It was the Friday that Derick was going to leave for college.

"Dionnah, Derick's here," I heard my mom say as she knocked on my door.

Derick was leaving for college in a different state and I was flying out with him. It was hard for me to accept at first but I eventually did. Derick reassured me that the love we had for each other could conquer anything thrown at us and like a fool, I believed him.

"I'll be right down ma," I shouted.

I heard her footsteps on the stairs as I applied some peach lip gloss and a little mascara. I wasn't into the whole makeup bit. I was young, black, and beautiful and I believed in showing off my natural beauty.

I hurried down the stairs and greeted everyone starting with my dad, who was a lawyer. He was already dressed for work and waiting on my older sister Danielle who was attending design school. Her school was near my dad's firm so he would carry her there. I for one thought that she was being a cheapskate since she had her car and would only drive it for her recreational purposes. 'To conserve on gas and save the environment she would say '.

"Morning Derick," I said as I kissed his cheek.

"Morning DeeDee," he smiled.

I wasn't too fond of the name DeeDee since it sounded like doo-doo, which is the name my ancestors in Africa called poop. But since it was Derick saying it I accepted it.

"Are we ready to go?" I asked as he finished his glass of orange juice.

"Yes, my mom and dad are waiting in the car, and so is Lydia."

Lydia is his sister who was only two years younger than we were. She and I became close and confided in each other.

"Okay let's go."

 

***********

Three hours later and we reached our destination. In no time we found Derick's dorm room. We unpacked his belongings and then went to grab some food. After eating, Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell said their goodbyes along with Lydia who shed a few tears.

Since I wasn't flying back until Monday I got a hotel room since I couldn't stay on Campus.

Derrick joined me in the hotel room. We made love like it was our last time together.
Even though I didn't have anything to compare our lovemaking to, I always wondered if there was more. It felt like something was missing. The few times we did it was great but not earth-shattering. I didn't even know if I climaxed but I had to just work with his emotions and the moments.

"I'm gonna miss you," I told him as he pulled me to cuddle with him.

"I'll miss you more," he sighed.