Silence-Kyle Spencer

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I held her hand, until her very last breath. She left in peace, now that she had become assured that her son would be okay. 

Cries, in abundance in both frequency and volume still did Kenny emit, ever since he had put the pieces together and understood his mother would not come back his yells filled with fury, and anger so big it was directed at the whole earth.

He was in my arms now, soothing himself, crying out a river of sadness for his deceased mother onto my shirt, guilt was chocking me, but mostly, my imagination tackled me repeatedly.

That little boy turned into Kyle before my eyes from time to time, and when he did goosebumps covered my skin, in a matter of seconds I was trembling, and then I would blink, and Kenny became Kenny again, and then the very essence of my past uneasiness would stab me in the chest.

How could I care more about Kyle than I did about the little boy whose mother I had just killed? In this moment, with a little boy was crying out for his mom in my arms, I thought about Kyle, how could that be?

Deep down, inside, I knew why I couldn't kick Kyle out of my mind so easily. I had reacted like a child to what I had seen, falling out of oxygen, feeling betrayed by someone who maybe didn't even feel something towards me, and those words I told him, the last ones he heard...

"I have things to do"

The hatred I felt against myself grew and grew without ever stopping, I was reckless, and stupid, and egocentric, those things are not the kind of things you say to someone like Kyle, at least not to the Kyle he is now.

He was sensitive, took every word for what they were, he didn't know about jokes and could probably didn't understand any of what we had said to him. His only way to part good from wrong being the tones used during the dialogues...

almost like a child, Kyle had no social clues at all, actually exactly like a child.

Jumping out of a dream, my eyes landed back on the boy in my hands, his cries slowly dying out as the conclusion came up in my brain, Kyle needed to be taught like a child, Kyle needed to meet that baby.

The endless hole carving through my heart due to the distance Kyle was from me undoubtedly influenced my judgement, but at this point if it wasn't for Kyle, I had nothing to lose.

Kenny calmed down in my arms, his head resting on my chest, I walked back to Misty, staying out of the room, keeping the blonde boy from the sight.

"She's good to go, I did a great job." Misty spoke instantly, a radiant smile on her face, her light illuminating the entire room.

"Misty, could we go somewhere?" I asked, knowing there was no point in suger coating my request.

She walked across the room, covering the inert body of a white fabric, before wiping her hands with an old piece.

She looked back, smiling nicely, as if she meant 'yes, sure'.

So I figured I would keep going "I need to see Kyle, I need him to see Kenny too.".

Misty decided to not question me any further, instead she simply gave me a look of agreement, and off we were, the three of us, Misty, Kenny and I.

I was keen on making everything fall in place again, it took one person to keep my world from collapsing in ruins, that person was me, it would always be my responsability to assure my future.

Misty drove silently through the now well alive traffic, even passing by the place where the accident occured earlier, and everybody seemed to still be frozen, not under witchcraft, but simply in wonder.

I was in the back seat, calming down the little boy I had already grown so attached to, looking out the window every second, feeling impatient to arrive home.

I wondered if Kyle had looked for me, if Cordelia had enough time to command the entire world to find me, I wondered if Zoe questionned what she had done in the past days, or Madison, if she realized what she did was not proper, or had their lives not changed at all even when I had left in such a hurry, and distraught state.

"We're here" Misty talked, a well awakened Kenny. She walked out of the car and walked her way to the door, while I straightened the shirt the blonde boy wore.

"Kenny, your mother is alright okay? Right now I want you to meet someone. He looks a lot like you, he's a really nice boy." I added feeling emotional suddenly, as if I needed of Kyle to approve this child, to approve he was still the Kyle I had hopes of finding.

A nice pink and orange had set in the sky by the time we arrived, and I was surprised to hear sounds as I pushed the car door open, girls grunting, and complaining.

The one voice pushing the most complaints I recognized to be Madison's, immediatly I stopped, afraid of what she might think of me as I cross the gate. Madison had won, I was in no way forgetting that.

"Let's go" Kenny spoke, as I was now trailing behind him. A smile drew on my face, just as I decided to let the little boy lead me through darkness, I had a good feeling about this.

"Ava!" I heard as soon as I pushed the gate closed behind me. "Ava?" That was Cordelia's voice, I rushed to her, my hand letting go of the boy's, to leave him to make the acquaintance of Zoe, who had jumped in my arms already.

"We were all so worried, where have you been?" Cordelia exclaimed vehemently, barely keeping her emotions to herself, but quickly wiping the sadness of off her face.

"I just have-" I started before getting interrupted "First of all, not all of us were worried; by that I mean I wasn't and thank god you're here, so you can deal with the man you M-U-R-D-E-R-E-D yourself" Even if the voice hadn't reached thosee highs onlys Madison could reach, I would have guessed to whom this voice belonged only by the insolence in its speech.

"It's nice to have you back," Nan and Queenie both said at the same time as I turned back to look at both of them.

Right then, Kenny escaped Zoe to come back to me. "Who is that?" Cordelia asked succedingly stroking Kenny's cheek. "Delia this is Kenny, a 4 years old blonde little boy, whom I'm sure you'll like".

"Damn, it hasn't been 4 years and 9 months since the party right? Or am I trippin'?" Madison commented suggesting I had also took the liberty to sleep with a boy who couldn't argument with a word on his knowledge of consent. I thought of a thousand different things to say, but none did I allow myself to speak.

Instead as Cordelia walked into the house with an eager Kenny tugging at her hand, Zoe rushed to me. "Kyle had been asking for you, from what little he can speak, I picked up he thought he made you mad, and he wanted to go after you. Come with me," She said  taking my hand in hers to lead me upstairs.

I caught my breath at each step of the long staircase, dreading the moment he would lay eyes on me again.

And eventually, I had to take my last deep breath once I was standing in front of the white door, the one I knew Kyle was behind.