Pretty Privilege

-1-

     It was your first year of high school and you were the ugly girl in school. No guys wanted you, you had no friends, and you genuinely thought you where the ugliest girl to live.
You desperately knew you had to change your appearance no matter how hard the process was. Something in your brain snapped.
'I have to do this'.
In school, you were bullied for not having friends, and because of your insecurities, you would never speak up for yourself.
You were okay with being invisible, because that was better than being noticed and bullied.
After every single day of not being noticed,
you started to wonder.. why was I so invisible? Was it my weight? My face? My confidence? My style?
                            ————————-

       You definitely wanted to change, and when you wondered why no one was noticing you, you realized it was because of things that you could change on your own. You did start to change, day to day, you started to work out, started to do skincare and most importantly, you started to appreciate yourself for doing this on your own.

And it did help, your appearance had already started to change a little within a month, not that people would notice, but you could.
You thought ' I should just stick with this too see where it goes'.
                              ~~~~~~~~~~~
Because you had no friends, summer was always a terrible time for you. People in high school were supposed to have fun, while you were just a bystander seeing girls hang out and have fun without you.
You thought this summer could be different, you had never tried to make an effort because of your confidence. Your confidence had also gone up within that month of working out.
When you wanted to make more of an effort, you put the desperation into fixing your insecurities, into working out and finding yourself.
Throughout this summer you were all alone, with seeing your cousins once or twice which when you did go, your cousins would always tell you that you should start going to the gym which was hard to understand.
                        ~~~~~~~~~~~~
A couple years ago, your family started telling you that you needed to change. It broke your heart into pieces.
You could withstand the criticism from your class, but now your family?
You didn't get why your family would say that to you, which made you even more quiet over the years.
This year was different, when you visited your family in the summer, little by little, you started to stand up for yourself, you picked up the courage and asked them "does it bother you that much that I need to go to the gym?" Your face was burning up and you regretted it instantly.
Your cousins bluntly answered "Its embarrassing to have a family member like you." 
This made your heart drop, you didn't think they hated you that much, especially when you were putting in all the work for the past month. You thought 'was doing all this for nothing? Does my confidence not matter?'
You thought it was just your confidence that made you so easily bullied, but them treating you like a disposable just made your motivation go so much higher.
For the next 4 months from May til August, you worked so, so hard.
There were times where you felt so exhausted and wanted to stop all of it.
But once you remembered where you came from and how hard you have worked so far, you kept going. The days went by slowly, but the months had gone by fast and it was eventually July.