A Twisted Romance

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

The room where visitors sat to speak to patients was empty. The lights inside were too bright reminding me of the horrifying hour I had spent in my psychiatrist’s office. I looked around to find no one and for a moment I thought that Michael had lied to me. But as I turned to walk away, my eyes fell on a very familiar face walking through the metallic door- she appeared to be skinnier but her beauty still filled the room. I hadn’t realised how much I had missed her until I was tripping over myself to run to her. To my surprise she had her arms wide apart waiting for me to fall into- I couldn’t have been happier- my mother was there.

     When she embraced me, I wrapped my free arms around her and could smell home. She stroked my hair, kissed my tear stained cheeks and rocked me back and forth as if she was trying to put me to sleep. Exhausted from crying and heaving, she led me to two seats in the corner of the room.

Once I was settled, I looked at the floor trying to find a way to look at my mother without turning each innocent stare into an accusatory one.

“Won’t you look at me?” she questioned, squeezing my left hand. I looked down at our hands and used my free hand to cover visible bruises with my sleeve.

“I’m sorry.” I said. It was all I could say to her but I knew that it wasn’t enough.

After my dull apology, we sat in an unsettling silence for a while before she spoke to me again.  

“Don’t let them break your spirit...” she said. “You didn’t do it.”

She whispered the words so close to my face that when I turned, we almost bumped faces. I looked at her eyes and all I saw was belief. She believed that I wasn’t a monster and to this, I responded by standing and heading towards the door.

I could hear her shock in the way she called my name but I couldn’t look at her. Her faith in me made her a monster in my eyes.  I stopped in front of the door and bruised my fingers trying to get someone’s attention. I needed to get out of there.

 Michael appeared a second later and raised his eyebrows.

“I’m done.” I whispered. I was trying hard not to cry but the tears kept coming. Michael opened the door and stepped in, closing it behind him. He put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me towards my mother.

“I won’t let you out until the visitation hour is done.” He said then left me staring at my mother with an angry glare. It was scary how my mood changed from one to another in an instant. I could remember being happy when my mother walked in but her words just made me so angry... it hurt.

“Did I say something wrong?” She asked. Her shoulders moved up then fell in a slump. She was defeated. I’d always been able to read her actions... even the slightest ones. It wasn’t because she was easy to read- it was because I was always good at reading people.

“Where’s dad?” I asked her.  I already knew the answer to my question but I wanted to hear it from her.

“He wanted to come but he had work.” She lied.

“He left didn’t he?” I said coldly. She nodded... it turned out that I also knew my dad well.

For a moment, I stood there and watched my mother. She looked strong and my question hadn’t seemed to shake her but I could see the sadness in her eyes... the beautiful eyes that I had desperately wanted to have as my own.

“Are you okay?”

“Now that I get to see my baby, I’m more than okay.” She replied. I hesitantly walked up to her and sat- placing my hand on top of hers. I could not remember ever being so close to my mother and having her talk to me without brushing me off for the perfect sister. As I sat there listening to her steady breathing, I smiled to myself happy for the very first time.

“I- uh- I uh.” She began.

I turned and faced my mother. Since I was sitting so close to her I could see just how weary she had gotten. Her skin had wrinkles, spots and looked neglected. I had never seen her without a ton of makeup but there she sat as bare as can be struggling to utter words.  

“It’s okay mum, you can tell me anything.” I said, trying but failing miserably to crack a smile. I knew the action... could remember it well but it was almost too painful to display it.

“Alex’s here.” She said.

It seemed as though time had stopped at the mention of the name.

My heart skipped a beat but I couldn’t, for the life of me understand why.

I started to sweat and heave- my fingers went into a shivering fit, my head thumped abnormally and I could swear my tongue was sweating.

“Who?” I asked, turning away from her to catch my breath.

“Alex.” She repeated,

 A squeak of the door followed.

I looked up to come face to face with the only boy who had ever made my heart - beat so fast that it cracked my ribcage. He was taller than I remembered but he now moved with uncertainty. His body was clothed in a white t-shirt and fitted jeans- complete with fashionable sneakers. He looked healthy and well and it put a smile on my face.

But the smile on my face was off faster than it had appeared. His face, suddenly reminded me of someone, someone whose face cleared from the bloody picture that had been thrown in my face. It was the picture of his girlfriend... the girl I had murdered.