In case Iose my mind, I love you - Frazel, Pjo fanfiction

Day eight

My dearest Frank,

As I walked to school today, I placed a rubber band around my wrist. As much as I'd love to day it never happened, my memories keep mixing up until I can't tell what's my imagination and what actually happened.

I don't even know what is real anymore.

Who is Annabeth? Slap.

Festus? Slap.

What's Camp Jupiter? Slap.

Slap, slap, slap. And, by the end of the day, my wrist was burning red and I had a headache. Just wonderful.

As I ran my sore hand under the tap of freezing water, I imagined you beside me. Or, at least, I tried to. Were you taller than me...? What clothes did you wear?

I ran to my bedroom in tears, because it just couldn't be. It couldn't, how could it all go? I grabbed the drawing I made of you and got lost in it as my vision started fogging.

How could I have lost everything so suddenly? It makes no sense.

I tried to write everything I remember in a piece of paper, but it looked like a 'Fill in the blanks' game. Only I had no way of filling them in, and probably it would become harder and harder.

Why are the Fates so cruel? Or, perhaps, the Fates don't even exist. Perhaps I have dreamed it all. But it felt so real. So stupidly, so heart-warmingly real. So real that now it hurts even more because I know that it is all gone. Everything.

The ache in my chest eased the physical pain in my wrist, so I didn't bother to bandage it or put something in it. I kinda deserved it. How could I forget? How could I...?

Was this some sick punishment of the gods? Have I done something wrong?

Or have I died again and I am in the fields of punishment because I have been bad? I though, at the end, I'd be a hero this time. But guess I was wrong.

Maybe it was my race. That's what the nuns at school say. Maybe they're right, and that's why I'm suffering.

Maybe they're right...

Maybe they're right. Maybe they're right. Maybe they're right.Maybe they're right. Maybe they're right. Maybe they're right. Maybe they're right. Maybe they're right. Maybe they're right. Maybe they're right. Maybe they're right. Maybe they're right. Maybe they're right. Maybe they're right. Maybe they're right. Maybe they're right. Maybe they're right. Maybe they're right. Maybe they're right. Maybe they're right. Maybe they're right.

Maybe I deserve this, after all.