Dear Diary,
It's another lonely night in my bedroom, sitting at my desk, pouring my heart out to you. You're the only one who truly knows the extent of my pain.
My Dad..., how I miss the old him. The father who loved me unconditionally, who would do anything to protect me. Now, he's... he's like a stranger, his mind plagued by mental illness, causing him to lash out and abuse me. But deep down, I know he still loves me.
Cuz i know he's not that kind of person, he's just tired and doesn't know how to express his feeling. Right Dad?
I remember the times when he would tuck me in at night, his strong arms wrapping around me, and his warm breath tickling my ear as he whispered, "I love you, Myler. You're my little hero."
So i hold onto hope. And believe that one day, my father's illness will be cured, and he'll come back as the kind man he once was.
I want to trust in that possibility, even when inside me i scream to run away. I don't want to abandon him, even when my own heart aches and bears the scars of his anger.
But there are nights like tonight, where the darkness feels suffocating, and my tears stain these very pages. How much longer can I bear this pain? How much longer can I pretend that everything is okay? The weight on my shoulders grows heavier with each passing day.
I'm tired, diary. Tired of pretending, tired of hoping, tired of burying my fears under a forced smile. There are nights when I dream of running away, of finding a place where the weight of his illness can't touch me.
But I can't just leave him, can I? He's still my father, regardless of the darkness consuming him. I hold onto the belief that love can heal even the deepest scars, that somewhere deep inside him, the man who raised me still exists.
So, I'll continue to write these words, shedding tears on this paper, as if casting a spell to call upon the old him, the father who loved me without restraint. I don't know how long this journey will be, or if it will ever have a happy ending. All I can do is hold onto hope and stay strong until that day arrives.
Forever hopeful,
Myler
••••
"What do you want to be when you grow up?" "Umm i want to be like you dad!"
"Leo can you promise not to leave me alone? I'm scared to hearing mum and dad fighting all the time"
"I promise my little bro, you never alone!"
"Goodnight my beautiful boy!"
"Dad wait! Do you forget to sing me the lullaby?"
"Oh boy i'm sorry!"
"Mommy look what i made for you!"
"I don't have time stop being so annoying!"
"Please look just for a second mom!"
"Ugh Flower crafts? These belong to trash Myle i don't like fake things"
"Leo, why mommy hates me so much? She seems like only loves you..."
"Hey... she's only in a bad mood, trust me we all love you."
"Leo No!!! Don't close your eyes... B-blood? Leo don't die!"
"Just die already you little asshole! You killed your own brother!!"
"Mommy i'm sorryy!"
"I'm leaving. I can't stand seeing his stupid little face."
"He has nothing to do with Leo's death Olivia how could you say that?!"
"I'm right here son, it's not your fault okay?"
"But i am the cause of leo's death and mom leaves us because of it how could it's not my fault dad?"
"No babyboy... It was her decision, and hers alone. You still have me alright? And I'm here to protect you."
TBC
YOU ARE READING
Beautiful Boy
Ficção Geral[ English ] 'The monsters gone, he's on the run and your daddy's here' My dad once called me his little hero, He used to tell me stories of how I would save the world, how I would grow up to be someone important, someone great. But that was a long t...
