Cold summer evening of 2002, Michał knew his goal... get this fucking cover permission, and he was fully aware of what it could take. Not that the way he gets permissions ever bothered him, not at all, he always acted like a whore and looked like it too. He never had problems with seducing musicians to get what he wants, (manipulative piece of shit) he succeeded with Campino already after all. But in this case, he had his doubts.
This years goal was a band called Die Arzte, he knew them well, one of the most popular band there is in Germany. He was more than sure that the cover of their hit song manner sind schweine would bring him the same amount of popularity as alles aus liebe 2 years ago (guess what, it won't). But some thoughts didn't let him sleep, he knew the drummers manners, Bela B was in some sense similar to him. It'd be easy to seduce him, 2 beers and hes in, looking at Michałs charms of course. He truly wasn't the ugliest, he could pull of makeups more stunning than his own wife (yes he has a wife)(its his 5th one). But his biggest advantage was his voice, the calming way he spoke to people, it worked like a curse. The fact that he lived in Germany his whole childhood couldn't benefit him more in this case too. So Bela wasn't a problem here, the bassist wasn't either, does he even have any rights in that band? The issue was the blonde, tall, smartass. In contrast to his friends he was a symbol of so said innocence, this autistic piece of shit hasn't smoked, drank, did he even ever fuck? Michał wasn't sure. But he knew that this is the guy he needs to actually deal with, the real leader of the band. And it terrified the living shit out of him, but at the same time the thought of that kind of challenge brought insane amounts of excitement, yes this kind of excitement. Its not like Farin wasn't attractive, he was in his own way, this man could get every woman he wanted, he didn't seem to need them tho. Michał never thought he would be attracted to that type of a man but well here we are, he was even considering himself being a necrophile... nah nah nevermind, as long as he breaths its okay right?
He finally fell asleep, woke up to sun hitting the windows of his Ich Troje van (this shit is really hideous I tell u that), the red haired man knew its finally his time to shine again while passing by the sign that said "Willkommen in Berlin".
-eh this city again, wish I was in Munchen
-Don't complain! Youre coming here to make business and not for pleasure-Bartosz the driver and his security guard screamed at him
-how do you know im not coming here for both
Bartosz didn't even bother to answer this, and just sighed, he was truly done of this man after only 3 years of work with him.
The van finally arrived at some kind of a studio, it didn't look expensive or anything, typical thing in which Michał works in, in Poland. Maybe they didn't like to create too much attention around each other, understandable but Michał couldn't relate, he liked people staring. Duh he even made a show where he brought a whole camera crew to his house to record every second of his life. It didn't end up good for his reputation, I guess he didn't expect people to actually notice his toxic and typically borderliney personality. But hey, too bad, lets not cry over spilled milk, we got more important things to do.
He went into the facility and the nice german ladies leaded him to the right room, of course he walked in on two of the man chattering like old women by a cup of tea. Bela was the first one to notice him, he aggressively put the cup on the table and run over to him all excited. Farin stayed sat, observing.
-You must be Michael right? Freut mich – he said shaking his hand – this is Jan, have a seat, maybe tell us something about yourself.
Michał sat indecisively, Farin finally greeted him fully professionally and insisted on hearing red haired mans life story.
After somewhat 30 minutes of musicians manipulatitive talk, Bela got fucking done with it and decided to just quietly escape with "well imma take a quick piss" excuse, leaving poor Farin alone with the polish problem. Thank (or not) god Jan was very patient. Michał spotting a perfect occasion to strike immediately took it by changing the course of the discussion to the blonde man, the other man automatically alarmed, but he didn't show his confusement. After a few minutes the pole started invading Farins private space, firstly by touching his knee and then fully massaging it. The arian guy was too stunned to speak at this point and just kept his face expression in a complete shock. Suddenly Michał began to stand up and decided its gonna be an amazing idea to sit on the older mans crotch, who in that moment looked more dead than the skulls Bela keeps in his room.
-What about a little presentation of my musical talents...- Michał whispered to his ear and started singing, creating a whole Skyler white happy birthday scene in that room
Czy wiesz malutka może jak ciebie mi brak
Czy czujesz to co ja, gdy jestem sam
Jestem opętany jak w niewoli pies
Kto jest temu winien wiesz
Nie ma takich prostych słów
Co oddadzą to co boli mnie
Przeczucie mam, że jednak spyta ktoś
Czy ta bajka się nie kończy źle
To tylko zazdrość zżera mnie
Zawsze wtedy kiedy obok ciebie nie ma mnie
Raz jestem doktor Jekyl raz Mister Hyde
Transformacja trwa, nie zatrzymam jej
Oko w oko stań, co za twarz
No powiedz boisz się
Za późno już zwalam stąd
Będzie lepiej jak zapomnisz mnie
A wszystko to, bo ciebie kocham
I nie wiem jak bez ciebie mógłbym żyć
Chodź pokażę ci czym moja miłość jest
Dla ciebie zabiję się.When suddenly both of them hear a noise of an opening door, thank god to farin, he was saved. It was Bela with 3 beers with horror painted on his face, the man immediately dropped the bottles. Michał didn't quite understand what his reaction can mean but he was afraid it wasn't anything good.
-was ist hier verdammt los... Du polnischer arschloch! Lass meinen mann in Ruhe!- Bela screamed furious
-o kurwa- said Michał quietly realizing what he had done. Too bad he didn't think abt it earlier, it was so obvious these guys had something going on around each other. Well, now hes fucked, he can say goodbye to that cover rights
Bela pulled off him off the blonde man who was already permanently paralyzed in the uncomfortably looking sitting position, and gave him a decent hit in the face. Unfortunately to Michał he wears like 4 different rings, so he ended up on the front of the studios entrance with 2 missing teeth. And he really thought the brand new white toilet toned ones are gonna stay for a little bit longer with his lifestyle. He immediately called Bartuś, which was a massive mistake, we all know hes gonna bully the living shit out of him now. He picked him up and then it started.
-well as I can see your charms didn't work this time.
-shut tf up, I didn't know theyre together or something, im never gonna do something like that again, its not worth the teeth. I will probably spend more on em than I would get payed from covering this song.
-I wanna remind you that u have a concert on Thursday
-don't even piss me off.
After getting home Michał got to know he got a letter straight from Berlin. Turned out he got the permission to cover the song but for a price of being banned from all die arzte concerts and a restraining order. Oh and he also had to pay for Farins therapy sessions, well, what am I supposed to say, typical day of Michał Wiśniewski, as we say in Poland, "naprawdę jest taki jaki jest"
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Alles aus Liebe
Humormichal wisniewski probujacy sie dobrac aryjczykowi do gaci japierdole co to jest