Huh

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by p3rnitez

by p3rnitez

Why do I view myself as a lonely clown? Is smiling enough to hide my vain?

There's this boy she like and here they are, not knowing what to like. They love the idea of someone being interested in with. This boy can't reciprocate how she feel. This girl can't explain how she feels. Both of them are distressed. The boy said.

"Maia, I'll marry you when we grow up. Just you wait, trust me."

The girl is unsure and yet even doubtful. How can a boy say such. She thinks it's absurd that it will even come true because this boy said it so she went along and said.

"We'll see."

Proud and mighty Luke became as months went by. Both of them continued to like the idea of liking each other. Luke is a very timid boy that even talking to Maia makes him speechless. Maia is a very lively girl that even talking to Luke doesn't exhaust her. They are quite the opposite.

One night, Luke typed and said. "How are you?"

Maia is a busy girl yet she stopped to check the notification and it was him. She then answered. "I'm good, you?"

Luke swiftly answered. "I'm fine." And Maia started to share her thoughts. She did care on how might Luke think if she's too chatty but continued anyway. Every long messages that Maia make, the very little Luke did to his. Maia don't seem to mind. As days went Maia became even busier that replying to Luke takes minutes but it still continued.

Maia met a lovely girl a year younger than her. Kei is a very timid girl that speak so little but listen so often. In Maia's mind. "Maybe she's like that because she's still adjusting." Months passed, Maia sees Kei's improvement and became comfortable but Maia seemed invisible to her.

Maia's forehead creased thinking what did she do wrong. "Why would someone ignore me?" But Maia is a lively girl that she don't even mind because she understand that Kei's timid. Maybe she's just shy. Maia's liveliness turned into coldness. She find herself minding the avoidance of this timid girl. Luke and Maia are still entertaining each other. They find themselves hard to express their thoughts. Maia's having doubts. She thinks too much and speaks too less.

Luke and Kei, running through her mind. She became exhausted. Strained. Sad.

Luke's indifferent behavior around Maia and Kei's avoidant behavior towards Maia. Maia starts to ignore and let it all go. Such things will pass, she says. They don't hate me, do they?

Hate. Heavy and harsh word to do and to say. It made Maia worry on her actions even on her words. Careful Maia, the world is surrounded by thorny paths.

"Am I even real? I'm invisible." Kei don't notice her, by choice.

Maia realized her worth. It's not worth it. Why would I care if someone don't like me?

But why do they hate? Do I lack something?

Maia won't find Luke anymore. She's done. She don't care. Maia felt invalidated when she talks to him. Maia sacrificed her time and energy in liking this boy. That time and energy went down the drain.

She again picks herself piece by piece. Big and small broken shards of a glass heart was replaced by iron piece. It won't budge anymore.

Money, Connections. Herself

Maia obtained these in a span of 20 years. She visited her hometown. It's still the same.

Same loud people. Same judgy people. Same structures. Everything's the same. Maia's world moved 20 years ago but this little town still remained for 20 years.

Maia scoffed. Pathetic.

She felt funny, but somehow she felt sad. She compared herself then. she changed a lot. If she didn't foynd herself, she'd be like this old town.

Maia's glad she found her innerpeace. Immovable, strong, and happy.

One's mind won't mind her. They hate when they detect a threat. That's a natural human thing.