SKYSCRAPER

SYCAMORE

JENNIE

That time when we had our first dinner, it felt like it was the longest night of my life. I never thought Lisa and I would keep on talking whatever that comes in our mind. But I can't deny that she is really shy. Somehow, she is trying to have a great conversation with me. We talked about random stuff and every single thing just make sense. I am this type of person who doesn't talk to anyone just like that. It's just so cute the way she talks. I really find cute how she tells me her story being my fan. And what I love the most is how she treats me just like a normal person but still with respect. Well, there are still moments that she feels intimidated because I'm a well-known artist. But she really is trying to be herself.

After that night, we got to see each other like twice a week. Then it became thrice a week.

Until I realize that my day is not complete without seeing her. I love looking at her. I love the way she speaks. I love how she walks. I love how she talks. I don't know how I survive every time she approaches me with her killer and handsome looks. She is just my type I guess. I never had a type before. But I think, she is the definition of perfection for me.

Before I go to bed, she is the voice I listened to over the phone. When I wake up, it's her text message that brightens up my day.

I am just so disappointed that whenever we're out, we always hide underneath our thick clothes and caps. I am just happy that she understands the situation.

I always look for her. Sometimes, she would ditch work just to see me too. During our dates, she doesn't want me to always pay for our bill. It's either I pay then she pays the next one or we both share the bill.

Date.

Maybe it's just me who considers every single moment a date.

I tried to make a move like letting our skin touch or  I lean my head on her shoulder when we watch a film. She let me hold her hand when we take deep breaths under that sycamore tree on an uphill land while we watch the whole busy city. But she is not giving the same energy back. Not that she is pushing me away. She let's me do whatever I want. I just don't feel her reciprocating. But I won't deny, I feel the intensity between us whenever we're flirting with each other through our touch and gaze. Touch. She's too respectful. She doesn't touch my skin first. When I hold her hand when we're together in our secret place we call "Sycamore", that's the time she would look at me straight in the eyes and give me her beautiful smile.

Maybe it's just me who feels something towards her.

Feel?

What am I really feeling?

Crush? I like her? I appreciate that she did save me?

It's already been six months that we're going out but it's still unclear to both of us. I don't even know what I am feeling. All I know is I want her to be part of my life. Maybe this is what they call the stage of getting to know each other.

We also talked about love. She told me that all she had was flings and nothing serious happened. She said that she is not ready to be in a relationship yet. But if ever someone comes and would change her thinking about love, she'll let herself fall deep into that person.

So, if ever, we are each other's first.

Am I just assuming that there's a great chance for us to take the next step? Sometimes, I don't know if she's giving me mixed signals or it's just her natural charm. Because whenever we're out and she sees someone who needs help, she never hesitates to reach out and do her best to help. Isn't that a good thing? Should I be worried about that?