The pain of not seeing my father. Brad meyer

Do you know the pain of not seeing your father everyday? Not a call? Not a text? Not even a happy birthday.

Getting those drunk text apologizing for the distance and promising that things will change. But they never do. I never get those calls saying "I love you and miss you" I never got those regular childhoods where you see your dad sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee reading the paper. Hugging my mother... his wife.

He had to cheat and ruin her trust. How will I grow up to a good experience of a marriage if I don't have my dad at home? Am I destined to end up like my father. Alone in his trailer. Drinking till he forgets. And text his son apologizing for those mistakes he made and make promises he will never keep.

I hate to experience the pain of not seeing my father. And there he was cheating on his second wife. And there I am to experience their fight. And experience his second falling out of love.

I want a relationship with my dad that doesn't leave me feeling like the problem. Maybe I just want a relationship with him. Why do I have to have the pain of not seeing my father. Like any other kid does. Will I ever get over this? I just hate making the effort for a relationship when he won't.