4 Years Too Long

Chapter 3

Beca knew that she had to break up with Jesse. It was only right. She knew that she never loved him, but she thought that she could just keep up the façade. Jesse would never know. It wasn't until she saw the woman she's been thinking about nonstop, that she realized just how wrong it was to lead Jesse on.

"I'm sorry Jesse. I can't do this anymore," Beca stumbles out the words.

"What do you mean Beca? I thought we were happy," Jesse questions. Tears brimming his eyes.

"Jesse, you know this hasn't been working out. You can't hide that. We fight all the time. I have to be honest with you. I... I'm in love with someone else. I-"

Jesse cut her off. "Is it Chloe? Are you in love with her? I mean, I know you guys are close, and I mean, she did walk in on you naked in the showers and make you serenade her, but I thought-"

"Jesse, stop. I don't love her. You're correct on the person I'm in love with being a woman, but it's not Chloe. You've never heard of her. Well, I mean, I've never told you about her. I was never planning on telling you about her. I was just going to keep it hidden forever, but then I saw her for the first time in 4 years last night, and I just,"Beca dragged on. She knew she was rambling, but she didn't care. If she stopped to take a breath, she may never have told Jesse all of this. He is still her best friend besides Chloe. He deserved to know.

"Wait, Bec, are you telling me that the woman you're in love with is in Das Sound Machine?"

"Yeah... I, I mean, she's kind of the leader of DSM... I didn't know that. I haven't talked to her since that summer in Germany."

"You spent a summer in Germany? Why is this the first I'm hearing about this. I thought we told each other everything," Jesse retorts dejectedly.

"I didn't want to tell you because then I would have to tell you about Luisa." Beca lit up when she said the blonde's name. A smile taking over face. Something that never happened when talking about Jesse. "Her and I became so close that summer. She was my host family's niece. She was the closest one to my age, so we spent a lot of time together. She taught me more German than I ever intended to learn. I fell in love with her. I never got to tell her before I left. We promised to keep in touch, but," Beca sighs, feeling the tears forming in her eyes, "we never did. I wrote her this letter on the plane ride home, but I never sent it. I tried moving on from her, but she had stolen my heart without knowing, and I never asked for it back. She still has it, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't even remember me." Beca was crying by the end of her story.

"Beca," Jesse says walking towards her to embrace the small brunette, "if what you just told me is true, then I'm not mad. I see now that you were never mine. I get it. I really do. When you love someone with all your heart, whether they know it or not, you will never get your heart back. They have it forever." Jesse was practically whispering to himself by that point, but Beca heard every word.

"Jesse, you love Aubrey don't you," Beca asks, even though she knew she was right.

"Yeah, Becs. I do. I just never wanted to hurt you. I guess you and I think alike," he chuckled. "Neither of us wanting to hurt the other, even though our hearts belong to others.

"Jesse, can we just promise that this will in no way affect our friendship? That this might actually bring us to be better friends?" Beca was pleading with Jesse almost. She loved him like a brother, and didn't want this to end their friendship.

"Beca, I promise. You're stuck with me forever," Jesse laughs and he sticks Beca's head in his armpit and rubbing his knuckles on her head.

"Well if this is gonna keep happening, I don't know if I want to be stuck with you forever," Beca jokes. Yeah, she could get used to this.