Devoted To You

Chapter 16: Fallon

"Honey, we can't wait to see you at the hockey gala! Your father and I have missed you so much it's crazy." My mother says through our FaceTime call slightly jumping up and down in excitement.

I chuckle at her and answer, "I miss you guys too."

"Also, your brothers are driving me crazy, they keep sending me these weird things called memes and I don't know how to respond to them." She huffs and throw an arm up in exasperation. "Like seriously, I don't know what to do with them anymore and your father doesn't help because when he found out they were doing that, he started joining in and now I have three different idiots annoying me on a daily." She rolls her eyes before setting her phone down so that she can finish preparing supper for her and dad. "You know, this is why you're my favourite."

I roll my lips in my mouth to suppress the laugh that's trying to escape. For being a very popular model whose always in the media, she doesn't really keep up to date on things. 

"You don't need to tell me I'm your favourite mom, I already know that." I send her a cheeky smile and a wink to add to the effect. 

She chuckles and points the spatula she's holding at me through the screen, "yeah yeah you little brat, don't be cocky now, you know I don't have favourites." I scoff at her in disbelief but before I could say anything back, she changes topics. "So... I saw Kathy yesterday. She asked how you've been doing in college and if you changed your mind since the last time she saw you." 

The mention of Kathy instantly makes my smile drop and my body tense. Fuck, why did she have to bring this up. I haven't seen Kathy since I showed up at the old rink, handed her her last pay check, and told her that I was quitting skating. The guilt I felt when I walked away from her, ignoring her calling for me to come back and explain or to talk to her, was completely overtaken by the pain of everything that happened with Jason. I was just too ashamed and too broken to talk to her and I didn't know if I'd be able to make up some random excuse at the time as to why I was doing this, to the woman who has been with me from the moment I took my first step onto the ice. 

I clear my throat when I start to feel the buildup of tears in my eyes. "Ah. Well I hope she's doing okay but no, I haven't changed my mind and I won't be."

Mom puts down the spatula and stares at me with a saddened look. "Sweetie, I still don't understand why you quit. I mean, you lived and breathed skating. You never wanted to do anything other than that. I just don't get it."

I start to feel my body shake and look away from the phone to make sure that I don't show her any of the emotions that are just about ready to burst out of me. I inhaled a deep breath to regain composure before looking back at her with shielded eyes. "Mom, I've told you guys before. I just grew out of it and I think that I should be focusing on school." The lie flows easily out of my mouth since I've repeated it so many times in the last 10 months. It's not that I don't trust my family with the truth, it's that I don't think I can handle them knowing everything that went down. They'd go crazy and I just know that Felix and Forrest would do something stupid like kill the guy and end up ruining their careers. And don't even get me started on dad. Who knows what insane things he'll do if he finds out. 

Mom lets out a small sigh, her frown still on her face. "Yes honey, I know. I just have a hard time believing that you grew out of it. You always had that same look on your face when figure skating as the boys or your father do when they play hockey." 

I suck in a shaky breath and slowly release it. "Just... just drop it okay? I've made my choice about skating and that's it." I lip my dry lips before forcing a smile to my face. "So, how's work going?"

Mom takes the hint and starts to ramble on about her trip to Mulan last week for her photoshoot. I envy her sometimes. She's just so carefree and doesn't seem to let the pressure of her name or the family's name weight her down. I was kind of like her in that sense but that was before I met him. Giving my head a shake to clear my thoughts, I quickly say goodbye to mom before crawling back into bed and knocking out.