feelings | minsung

18

boo seungkwan >>

also did i mention that this is a one-sided love

***

"Haaah..."

Minho heaved a big sigh and leaned back in his chair.

"Tired?" Seungkwan, a classmate, asked.

"Yeah." Minho rubbed his eyes, which were swollen from the...events that took place last night.

"Heard it was Jisung's Sweet-Soulmate-Sixteen yesterday. You're his friend, right? How was the party? I was invited, but I was busy so I couldn't attend. Did Jisung find his soulmate?" Seungkwan shot one question after another.

"..." Minho bit his lip, not knowing how to reply.

The day before, after his outburst, Minho had gone home and cried himself to sleep. He couldn't believe it - he, Lee Minho, had lost control of his feelings.

Today morning, he had woken up and contemplated whether to go to school or not. He figured that his mother might find out that he had skipped without a valid reason and kill him, so he had unwillingly dragged his ass out of bed and gotten ready. (Not that getting killed was a bad thing...)

He decided to ignore Jisung at all costs. It wasn't that hard, because they were in different grades and the only time they met was at lunch, but Minho felt like a big chunk of his life was missing throughout the entirety of his classes. He would have been lying if he said he wasn't hoping Jisung would text him or come find him, but he didn't.

One bad thing: Today was Felix's birthday, and Minho was invited to his party. He wanted to ditch it, but he had already bought Felix's present and Chan would hunt him down if he didn't show up. So Minho had a plan: go to Felix's party, give him his present, lie that he was sick, and get outta there before Jisung saw him. He really didn't want to stick around to witness Felix and Changbin realizing they were soulmates. (Not that it's confirmed or whatever, but Minho's 99.9% sure that they are)

"...it was fun," Minho forced a smile. "And no, Jisung hasn't found his soulmate yet."

"Huh. Well, soulmates don't pop up right away. It took me 2 years to find my soulmate." Seungkwan raised an eyebrow at Minho. "You haven't found your soulmate either, right?"

"Yeah, but don't get any ideas. Sungie and I are just friends." Minho lied through his teeth.

"Sure, sure. That's what they all say." Seungkwan said the last part so quietly that Minho barely caught it.

"Shut it, Boo." Minho rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, Lee."

BRRIIIIIIIING. The dismissal bell rang, and the volume in the classroom increased as all the students filed out the door.

Minho walked quickly so he wouldn't run into Jisung. Since he was ignoring the latter, it would be relevant to mention that he wouldn't be walking home with him either.

I wonder how long I can go without him...

***

Earlier that day.

Jisung slumped into his chair, exhaling heavily.

"Good morning, Sungie!" Felix said brightly from next to him.

"Good morning. Oh, and happy birthday." Jisung replied halfheartedly. 

"Thanks!" Felix said, then frowned. "You ok?"

"Yeah, I'm just a little tired." Jisung mumbled.

'Just a little' was an understatement. Jisung had stayed up all night, running the words Minho had yelled at him through his head.

I love you...I know you'll never love me back...I'm your soulmate...

Why him?

Why did Minho love him?

Even after Jisung had declared he liked Felix, even after he had selfishly ignored Minho's feelings and only focused on himself, Minho still loved him.

I'm your soulmate...

Jisung was so dumb. He was foolish to think Felix was his soulmate when Minho had been right there. 

I hope you don't hate me...

He didn't hate Minho. He hated himself. He hated his naive, stupid self.

Us being soulmates doesn't change anything...

As much as he hated to admit it, Minho was right. He couldn't, didn't love Minho. At least, not yet. 

Because...his feelings for Felix were still here.

But they don't feel right. Jisung thought. My feelings for Felix don't feel right.

"Oof. If you're too exhausted, you don't have to force yourself to come to my party later." Felix exclaimed, concerned.

"No, no, it's fine. I'll just take a quick nap after school." Jisung reassured him. Before Felix could reply, the teacher came in started taking attendance.

Throughout the lesson, Jisung found himself glancing at his phone in his backpack.

Should I text him?

The last text from Minho was 'I'm sorry', and Jisung had left him on read because he hadn't known how to reply.

I want to talk to him...but I think he's ignoring me...

An idea popped into his head.

I can talk to him at Felix's birthday party!

Yeah, that's a great idea.

I'll talk to him, and clear everything up.