mystery of the pretend

chapter two

I had woken up in cold sweat no idea what happened after the incident and how I even survived, standing in front of the mirror looking at myself, I didn't see the same old Leah I saw three years ago, I saw a weak person in need of so much help yet she was too late to ask for it.

I need to get stronger but I can't seem to, it seems like strong has become the new weak in my vocabulary, she made it become so.

my head snapped to the door once I heard a small knock come from it, it couldn't be Micheal, he left for work three hours ago, I slowly backed away and just as I was about to leave through the window someone pulled me back by my hair.

I fell to the floor ready to feel a heavy impact knock me down, but nothing I didn't feel a thing I couldn't even feel myself, I looked around the room and when I looked down, chills ran down my spine, shock took over me, I saw myself lying flat on the floor.

and when I looked up I saw her going down to my body, my lifeless body, I panicked and tried to go back inside my body, but I couldn't I was too late, she was ahead of me.

my breaths got heavier with every passing moment, I was thinking about it, I threw the water on my face three times to calm myself down, I looked at my door waiting for a knock but nothing, I heard nothing come from the door, I sighed in relief as I slowly sat down on a stool I brought inside.

my thoughts went frantic after I sat down, the main one being that I almost died, I almost let her win, I can't do that I can't just give up that easily, she can't terrorise me and get away with it, I won't let her take what's mine, I can't let her take what's mine, she's already taken enough from me.

the one thing left I have is my body for my soul to dwell in and if she wants to take that away, then what will become of me what will I do after my soul has left my body, will I also destroy someone's life just so I could get their body?

will I become a monster like her also?

I wrapped my arms around myself, unintentionally scratching myself hard as I slowly drew my arms back to my lap, tiny spots of blood came from each scratch, I didn't pay any mind to any of them, I just stared at myself in the mirror.

No, it wasn't me, I didn't see myself I saw a different girl, a beautiful blonde-haired girl, a girl who was strong a girl who could defend herself a brave girl, a person who had no fears.

oh how badly I wish to be her, oh how badly I want to have her bravery her fearlessness her defensiveness, oh how I wished to be strong like her.

I wish I could face her without fearing what is to come.

I wish to fight back whenever she attacks me.

I wish I was brave enough to stand my ground even if I'm gonna lose.

I wish I was strong.

______

I stabbed the chicken with my fork and cut it with the knife, I brought it to my lips and opened them, yet I couldn't bring myself to take the fork any further into my mouth, my hand started to shake uncontrollably as I forced it to move closer into my mouth, I pushed my teeth down and forcefully bit down on the fork and pushed the chicken inside.

I chewed for a couple of seconds before spitting it out again, I took some tissue and cleaned up the mess.

I sat down and pushed my plate further away from me, Micheal closed the fridge and sat down as well, with a not so pleased expression on his face, not that I blamed him, I wasn't eating and I wasn't giving him a good reason why, "Leah are on some sick diet or something?" he asked rather harshly, as he placed his bottled water on the table.

I flinched, not knowing why, he leaned back confusion written on his face, "I'm sorry did I scare you?" I shook my head, "I've just never seen you angry before, it's all" he stayed quiet for a moment, "Leah at least try to eat please?"

I have, I've tried so hard, "I will just drink some water," I said as I stood up to head to my room, "Leah" Micheal sighed.

"I will be fine don't worry about me"

"Leah-

"Micheal I'm gonna-

"Leah have you looked at yourself in the mirror!?!, you are extremely underweight, and refusing to eat, do you want to die or something!?!" I looked down trying my hardest to stop the tears from coming, Micheal sighed, he came towards me and pushed my head slightly down on his chest whilst the other lay on my back.

"I'm sorry for yelling, I was worried" I wrapped my hands around his torso, "Leah, you are my little sister, I care about you more than anyone or thing on this planet, I only want the best for you, if I didn't love you I wouldn't do what I do for you every day"

"if anything at all is hurting you, just tell me okay? I will do anything in my power to protect you" if only it were that easy, if only he could just fight her off for me so I could finally be free, free from her torment, "I'm fine" I lied, fighting my tears.

I pulled away looking down just in case a few slipped out, "we should go to the amusement park tomorrow, and have fun, you have been under a lot of pressure these past few days so...

let loose for a bit, you can invite that girl you like so much" he chuckled, "fine but promise me, you will eat"

"pinky promise!" I went upstairs to my bedroom, and once my door was shut, tears fell uncontrollably down my face, I couldn't even cry probably.

as I was walking to my bed, a strong wind pushed me back against my door, almost breaking it, I didn't react I just stayed in place for a while before standing up and jumping on my bed, it wasn't too bad, thus I didn't give her a reaction even though now my back hurt worse than my arm, I pretended as if it didn't, hoping it would drive her away for the night.

I laid on my stomach instead of my back for obvious reasons, and slowly as I fell asleep I told myself repeatedly, "I'm fine...I'm fine"