Love Isn't Enough

First Sight

 My father said I took the voyage better than other people would, for my first time. I just would talk to Floki and ragnar and with them I found the trip quite enjoyable. I would also talk to Athelstan who would teach me about saxon ways and religion, during the voyage I would recite different pslams and saxon language with him. Then there was Erlendur. Erlendur would try and talk to me. He seemed kind but entitled in a way. He was in no way interesting.I wonder how my mother felt when she met my father but it had to be more than this. We're reaching the saxon land soon.

When we did it was not what I was expecting at all but I didn't know what I was expecting.

There had been constant saxon attacks. Father basically had me strapped to him when it happened. But one it was brutal and came out of nowhere. We were sitting by a river. I was sitting with father and Athelstan. Erlendur and his brother Ari were both staring at me. It was just immature to me. Unlike the shieldmaidens who were giggling at the other mens advances it made me uncomfortable. Neither of the boys were ugly but both just seemed so childish. 

Though I learned a childlike essence can be gone in a second.

Because just like that as I was making eye contact with Ari an arrow suddenly went through his chest. I instinctively ran to him, not knowing what I could do. Our raiders went in formation as my father yelled for me to get back. When I got to Ari he wasn't dead yet. The arrows were starting to stop flying when I covered my body over his to shield him from anymore. The Saxons came out of the forest coming towards us. I only had a knife as a weapon but before a saxon could come towards me Athelstan's axe swung to protect me. I looked down at Ari. I tried to stop his bleeding any way I could but I knew it was too late.

"I don't want to die...I don't want to die like this" He barely could get out the words as a single tear rolled down the boys face. Those were his last words. I felt his last breath as his head went limp to the side. My fingers glided over his open eyes to close them.

The battle was short as I held the dead boy in my arms. I was in shock not even noticing Athelstan trying to pull me away, moving into his arms as he pulled me into a hug. But I noticed Athelstan was covered in blood, the monk who was my childhood friend. He was covered in blood. Pulling me away from my thoughts, I heard King Horik's voice.

"You may not be a shieldmaiden but you showed the bravery of one today. And I thank you." He nodded towards me as he leaned over his sons body. 

"That was stupid" I was pulled from Athelstan by my father.

"I thought I could help him" was all I could think of to say.

"Then to put yourself in a position where someone will have to help you?" Athelstan stayed close by as I tried to choose my words wisely.

"I'm sorry father" Ragnar took a long breath in.

"Athelstan will train you, you can no longer be with us and not be able to defend yourself" he then goes to Athelstan and leaving me to ponder what has happened.

Next day Athelstan and I started to train. I was quick but not strong. I could easily avoid Athelstan's sword but the minute it could touch mine he could easily knock it out of my hand.

We ended up meeting with the Christians ended up scaring the priest they sent half to death but apparently it lead to an agreement to a meeting. Me and Athelstan trained as my father did the trade with him and a saxon hostage. Me and Athelstan trained behind a tent out of sight. I was in a tunic and trousers as we practiced. After the seventh time of Athelstan disarming me and me  pouting I hear jeering and obscenities in the camp. I peaked my head around the tent and was taken back. Our men were surrounding, shouting and spitting at a younger man in saxon clothes until he sat down in a chair that came in his path. He looked proud and unafraid as he was surrounded with armed men. He looked older than me but still a young man..a handsome man.

"Who do you think he is?" I ask Athelstan who had leaned over me his head right next to mine looking at the scene before us.

"I don't know probably someone important in King Ecbert's court" he said somewhat worried for the man as King Horik and Erlendur came looking angry. I knew this wasn't going to be good. I grabbed my sword and a bucket that my father made into a helmet to protect my pretty face. I didn't want this man to see me like this covered in dirt and in man's clothes. 

Apparently my instincts were correct as I walked over to the scene. The saxon said nothing as Horik and Erlendur said awful things in our language and started to shove him. King Horik eventually grew tired of this.

But Erlendur didnt. 

A second before I was about to make it to the scene Erlendur pulled out his sword and was about to shove it at the saxon. I nearly jumped in between it but swung my sword in a way that Athelstan had done a thousand times to me. I disarmed Erlendur and pointed my sword to him with both hands as I barely could hold its weight up. I said nothing to him but stared as I was surprised I was actually able to disarm him.

"You're protecting him?" he said angerily and I felt the saxon man get up from his chair close behind me.

I kept my sword raised pointed directly at him as I looked at him sternly but also pleadingly for him to understand. But Erlendur would not back away.

"If you kill him then they will kill Ragnar" Athelstan said standing next to me.

"Stay out of this Christian. I want them to pay for what they did to my brother." He said picking up his sword stalking towards me. King Horik comes to his sons side now facing Athelstan.

Erlendur suddenly throws down his sword at me and I barely deflect it. I start stepping back closer to the man behind me making sure my body was completely covering him as Erlendur continued. King Horik got Athelstan away from me as I look to him for aid.

"Come fight mute" he said as he slams his sword down at me, I can't deflect it this time and nor can I hold it but hands go over mine giving the strength to push Erlendur back. 

"Give me the sword" I hear close to my ear in the saxon language.

"He's christian and that is reason enough to kill him" Erlendur roars but as I take a worried breath in now Athelstan comes back to me and Floki came to my other side. He said nothing merely staring down Erlendur and King Horik down. Erlendur looked to his father who shook his head and that made Erlendur drop killing the saxon. Floki turned to the saxon making a silly face at him then looking me laughing at the helmet or bucket on my head walking away. I don't turn to the man behind me knowing he could see my face if he did. I walked away straight back behind the tent feeling everyone's eyes on me including the saxons. But then I hear something unexpected.

"Thank you" it sounded almost reluctant to come out from him. I didn't respond still walking away but now smiling with a blush.

I wished I could get one last look at him. But not today. Maybe I could see him again.

One day.