bridgerton imagines.

letters left unread: colin bridgerton.

colin bridgerton has never felt such relief as he does now,
stretching his limbs after such a long travel.
though he is sad to admit his time in greece has come to an end,
he is rather glad to be back home amongst familiarity.
before colin heads home for the evening,
where he will not escape his mother's questions or his brothers teasing,
he decides to knock on the front door of his very best friends home.
after so long of being apart,
it is this reunion that he is most excited for.
though he must admit,
a sense of anxiety hides in his chest.
there have been some words left unsaid between the two.
confronting it now,
so soon after his return,
it is means for an apprehensive man. 
when the door opens,
it opens to reveal her mother,
a woman of dedicated faith,
who smiles at his arrival.
"mr bridgerton! i hadn't known—"
her sentence has hardly left her lips before y/n's harmonious voice calls through the cracks of the door,
"bridgerton? has colin returned?"
the door opens further to reveal y/n's beautiful face.
colin feels the once casual smile against his lips grow much more genuine beneath her stare of admiration.
y/n celebrates colin's return with a loud cheer and a hug that suffocates him with each passing second.
though he is glad to be smothered by this winsome woman,
who has been by his side since they were mere toddlers.
if one were to peek inside the silent parts of colin's brain,
one would see the image of marriage.
in this very image,
the woman at the altar would be the very same y/n
l/n,
his best friend since times beginning.
he hopes she will have an answer for the question he asked so many months ago.
instead,
she beams and exclaims,
"you're home!"
colin feels her scrutinizing gaze fall upon him.
he allows her to remember the shape of him,
but it does not stop him from squirming beneath her perusal.
in their time apart,
he has seemingly become more of a man.
y/n is not sure what it is exactly that's so becoming of colin,
but she enjoys it nonetheless.
his skin is much more weathered and tanned,
surely thanks to the grecian sun.
there is a well-groomed beard growing out against his jaw,
and colin suddenly appears rather strapping. 
"i am home,"
colin returns with a smile,
gently tugging on a strand of her hair;
an habit of childlike charm.
"you look amazing! ugh, you must tell me all about greece and—"
"y/n, your guest is waiting."
y/n's mother reminds her.
at this,
her expression seems to tighten;
like the smile on her lips will fall if she lets it.
"very well. i'll find you soon, mr bridgerton."
before she can leave,
colin hurries to ask,
"you...you have a suitor?"
she curtly nods her head in reply.
colin is left to his own thoughts the moment the l/n front door closes and he is alone again.
surely,
he was not gone that long.
long enough for y/n to make her debut,
long enough for her to be wooed,
long enough for her to find matches in other men.
no,
no.
surely not.
colin ushers home to ask the only person who would know the answer.
after greeting her with a distracted hug and smile,
colin finally asks the question begging at him.
"y/n l/n? oh, yes. she was quite stunning debuting before the queen. she was sad you missed it,"
eloise answers,
though she never takes her eyes away from the book before her.
"she is planning to marry now?"
colin's voice is thick with frantic desperation.
now,
eloise lowers her book.
"brother...surely you did not think she'd wait forever, did you?"
colin knits his eyebrows together at this.
"she is a woman with duties or obligations or something...whatever. still, her mother wishes her to marry as soon as possible. had you been here..."
eloise doesn't finish her thought.
it is not lost upon the younger sister that colin's affections are reserved for y/n l/n.
to assume had he been present,
y/n would have chosen him to be her husband,
it is a most discerning thought.
colin says nothing more as he trudges up to his room,
careful to avoid the rest of his family.
how can he fake niceties when his mind is raging so?
this misfortune is not entirely his fault.
had y/n done as she promised and written to him,
colin might have been able to make it back in time for her debut.
had y/n done as she promised and replied to his letters,
she would have read his ever so tender confession,
forever preserved in ink.
knowing what he has written now,
knowing that y/n read it and paid it no mind,
it crushes colin in embarrassment.
he went many, many months without hearing from the girl.
so, no, it is not entirely colin's fault.
how could she entertain these men anyways,
with their undeserving gazes and hoaxing promises?
she knows of colin's love,
protected inside of his chest,
all for her.
to move on,
to find another,
to promise her hand to someone else...
this heart caged inside colin,
he can feel it beginning to splinter.
is this what heartbreak is like?
is that what it means to find love,
only for it to be unrequited?
colin falls against this empty bed of his,
clutches his chest that echoes of an ache,
and tries to find a place where him and y/n are happy together.