Complicated minds

-chapter one-

9:30 AM

I hear the subtle sound of my alarm go off in the background

I brush my whitish blonde strand of hair away from my face then rub my eyes

my clock tick... tick... ticks...

and As i gesture my eyes towards it i realise

I am late.

I told myself I would be able to get up this morning yesterday when i got the email

but I guess I lied.

the shakey panicking breaths run out of my mouth as i quickly move off my bed

I slide a tshirt and a pair of newly washed jeans on as i move to the kitchen

"Why wouldnt u wake me?"

I call to the kitchen that should've had my mom in it but no one is to be seen and I stand there blankly

No note, no nothing. Just an empty kitchen.

"Fuck i hate when she does this..."

I sigh to myself, pick up my bag and leave.

Me and my mom have a...complicated relationship, she didn't give me much attention as a child so when I am with her it feels like she doesn't even know me.

and i thought she was gonna start trying to make an effort to build a relationship with me

But apparently the million men and bottles of alcohol that are offered to her are more important

What did I expect?

I walk through the painfully heavy glass doors and there he is

Dirty Blonde hair, brown eyes, fit body, dressed perfectly

the greatest detective in all of america.

Detective Amar.

his presence makes me nervous.

''Hello miss ophelia, come with me.'' he gestures towards the door in front of him and I Follow him into a room.

My biggest inspiration is here, with me in a room.

It doesn't even feel real.

''have a seat'' he says and then plops down onto one of the two burgundy chairs that are seated across from each other

the room has a dark scent, it almost makes me feel intimidated

"i can tell you're nervous but don't worry, there's nothing you should be worried about."

I ignore the words he just directed towards me and sit down on the other seat beside him.

''Well...do you know why you're here?"

''No sir but i'd love to."

"Yes...well i've seen your work and i think you would be perfect for this case"

My minds spinning. I did not expect to go to the police station for this reason.

''Uh sir...well i am honoured, i don't know if i would be up for this job...besides how would i manage this case being so new"

"Id be working with you."

And there it is, my chance.

''Yes!! I mean...alright.'' i swallow flustered.

He smiles a warm smile

''Great! Ill email you the details, have a nice day miss ophelia.'' he gets up and walks to the door that he opens out for me.

I walk out, and quickly hurry to the heavy glass doors that i push for the second time

And here I am, in my car all excited like I'm a 6 year old getting handed a lollipop, except this time it isn't a lollipop, it's an opportunity and dream that I'm grasping and not letting go of.

When i'm home my moms not and confusion washes over me

"Where the fuck is she...?" I whisper the thought to myself, and this is where the anxiety starts.

"No no no no..." I take out my phone, swearing to myself to call hers and hear a loud bang coming from her room.

And of course when i run up to her room there she is, under the influence and left behind for her daughter to take care of.

"Hiii honey!!" she says well slurring her words

I prop her head up on her pillow and go down to the kitchen to get a glass of water and a bucket for her.

This is my reality.