Chapter 11

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I was a fool, and I was playing a fools game. I knew it. Yet, I couldn't stop. It was only when Feyre's eyes lingered on Tamlin's that I was reminded. Of course she  wasn't warming to the High Lord of the Night Court. Not the male who was whisking her away, drowning her in wine, and leaving her in sickness the days after. She couldn't see what it meant. Not when her every thought was on Tamlin and how to save him. Wretched and selfish were traits we both shared. But no one could save me. No one was trying to save me. I didn't deserve to be. 

Feyre's second task loomed below - another riddle. The task seemed too simple for Amarantha's scheming. The pit now formed a rectangle, split in the middle by an iron gate. Feyre was being lowered to one side and on the other - Lucien was sprawled and cuffed to a table. To my right, Lucien's brothers peered eagerly into the pit. It was a wonder how Lucien fit into that family at all. They shared the same burning red hair, but Lucien wasn't blessed with the same temperament, fortunately. It made sense he was the outcast. Lucien's eye whirled in a panic, taking in his surroundings. 

"Here, Feyre darling, you shall find your task." Amarantha leaned over the railing of the pit, peering over Feyre. "Simply answer the question by selecting the correct lever, and you'll win." Amarantha's teeth gleamed in the light, her lips curling into a snide grin. Tamlin only stood next to her, eyes locked onto Feyre. "Select the wrong one to your doom. As there are only three options, I think I gave you an unfair advantage." Amarantha gestured down to the three levers before Feyre. Something did not sit right about this scene. The task wasn't particularly challenging and why was Lucien chained -

Amarantha snapped her fingers and a clanking sound began. Metal groaned against metal as two giant, spike-encrusted gates began slowly descending into the chamber. "That is, if you can solve the puzzle in time." Amarantha's smile grew even wider as she sat back to observe. Feyre stared up at the spikes above her, inching closer and closer. It still didn't make sense. Feyre could solve a riddle, quite easily I'd imagine, but when her eyes flicked to the riddle, she began to shake. The spiked gate continued to lower as Feyre's eyes shifted between it, the riddle, and Lucien pulling against his chains. Why wasn't she pulling the lever? It wasn't a difficult puzzle. 

"Something wrong?" Amarantha raised an eyebrow. And I wondered the same. The longer the gate groaned toward the chamber below, the more gold passed between hands. The bookmakers pockets were stuffed to the brim. My breath was caught in my throat. Answer it, Feyre.

Lucien grunted and pulled against those chains as the gate continued lower and lower. "Answer it!" he screamed. But Feyre kept her eyes on the inscription, trembling. Then I noticed her lips forming, or trying to form, the words. She couldn't read. My gut twisted at the realization. Had Amarantha known? I pulled my eyes from Feyre to see Amarantha sitting forward in her throne and Tamlin, whose eyes were wide and fearful. Feyre truly couldn't read, and Tamlin knew it. The curiosity in Amarantha's eyes told me she didn't.

Feyre was struggling to understand any of it. Lucien now thrashed against the table, the cuffs on his wrists and feet digging into his skin. "Just pick one!" he begged. Feyre moved toward the second lever - No! Feyre jumped back and looked down at her palm, at our bargain inscripted on her arm. The cats eye at the center of her palm looked back at her. Please, Feyre. But she went back to the second lever - Stop! Feyre paused again, then looked up at me. I kept my eyes away, a mask of boredom. Just trust me, damn it.

Feyre turned back to the puzzle and stepped toward the first lever, jumping back again at my interception. Then she reached for the third - Yes! Feyre didn't grab it, her hand hung in the air. Trust me, Feyre. Her eyes closed, and she pulled the lever down. Immediately, the groaning metal stopped and I released my breath. For fucks sake. I could hear Lucien's sigh of relief from across the chamber. Feyre dropped to her knees as the stone rose her out of the pit, her hands covering her face. Don't let her see you cry. Put your hands at your sides and stand up. She needed to be strong, just until she was out of this room. Feyre didn't move. Stand. Don't give her the satisfaction of seeing you break

Feyre's knees wobbled, her legs shaking, but she managed to stand. She lifted her eyes to Amarantha, now level with her again. Good, stare her down. No tears - wait until you're back in your cell. Count to ten. Don't look at Tamlin. Just stare at her. Be strong, Feyre. She couldn't look to Tamlin. How he sat now in his matching throne, eyes lifted away, it could break her even further. I could feel the sobs trapped in her chest. Ones that mimicked my own. Good girl. Now walk away. Turn on your heel - good. Walk toward the door. Keep your chin high. Let the crowd part. One step after another... I guided her all the way to her cell, keeping her, and myself, tethered to sanity. We walked in rhythm, even on opposite floors, and as she entered her cell, I entered my room. When I knew she was safe, when I knew I was alone, I left her and let it all come crashing down. 

***

The tears didn't stop. In the moments of quiet, I tried to close my eyes. but the shuddering and sobbing kept me upright, clenching my own chest in answer. Feyre was breaking, splintering at the seams. And it was tearing at my own gaps in sanity. I rubbed my hands down my face. I had to put a stop to this, for her and for myself. 

I winnowed into the cells and scanned the darkness. Feyre was doubled over, chest to knees, with her hands to her face. Tears and dirt were smeared across the visible parts of her skin. Her back heaved up and down in time with her cries. Pain slammed into me, a fracture opening in my heart. "Still weeping?" I glided into the dim light of her cell. "You've just beaten your second task. Tears are unnecessary." She only cried harder in response. I cursed Tamlin for doing this to her. Before my thoughts caught up with my body, I was kneeling in front of her, my hands gripped around her wrists. I needed to see her face. I needed to know if I was too late. I pulled her hands away, revealing her silver lined eyes. They were round, swollen and red. But life still existed there, however small. Feyre only looked back weakly and my tendrils of darkness swept around us. Here, in this cell, crying for a love that didn't answer her back. Didn't acknowledge or respond to her pleas. I was moving. 

The warmth of her tears slid down my tongue. I leaned back and did the same to her other cheek. I licked the evidence of her pain away, I would give it to myself. For her. Feyre didn't breathe and her body went slack. So warm she was and my tongue danced upon her lashes-

Feyre jerked away and backed toward the corner. My hands were still wrapped around her phantom wrists, and I smiled. "I figured that would get you to stop crying." 

"It was disgusting." Feyre wiped at her face. 

"Was it?" It stung, but knew it was a half truth. The agony in her eyes was significantly diminished. "Beneath all your pride and stubbornness, I could have sworn I detected something that felt differently. Interesting." 

"Get out." 

"As usual, your gratitude is overwhelming." 

"Do you want me to kiss your feet for what you did at the trial? Do you want me to offer another week of my life?" Feyre's words were laced with ire and I knew I had done my job. 

"Not unless you feel compelled to do so." Victory shone in my eyes. "Who would have thought that the self-righteous human girl couldn't read?"

Her eyes blazed. "Keep your damn mouth shut about it." 

I couldn't help but laugh. "Me? I wouldn't dream of telling anyone. Why waste that kind of knowledge on petty gossip?" How could she have not learned to read? If Tamlin knew, why didn't he teach her? Cauldron knows she was there for months

Feyre only continued to burn her eyes through mine. "You're a disgusting bastard." 

"I'll have to ask Tamlin if this kind of flattery won his heart." I rose up from the floor and turned to leave. "I'll spare you the escort duties tomorrow. But the night after, I expect you to be looking your finest." I turned my head over my shoulder, meeting her eyes once more. "I've been thinking of ways to torment you when you come to my court. I'm wondering: Will assigning you to learn to read be as painful as it looked today?" I winnowed before she could reply. 

***

My hands rested behind my head, against my pillow. A smile spread across my face as a stream of obscenities and gestures jabbed their way into my consciousness. I quickly fell to sleep. 

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