Varanasi // Josh Kiszka

Nepal

Perched on a rock by the waters edge, you dipped a toe into the cool clear waters of the pool below. Watching the ripples break on the surface, the depths becoming a blur.

When Josh had posed the question to you, it had taken only a breath to make your decision. You had kept him waiting, naturally, scrunching your nose up as if in deep contemplation. And he had said something about your face looking even prettier when you wrinkled it up like that.

"Of course I will go with you." You'd said, knowing that if you ever said no that you'd spend the rest of your life wondering what might have been.

And now you were sliding into the crisp waters of the Sisneri pool of Nepal. Your body submerged, feeling as if you were being kissed by ice.

When you broke the surface, he was there. Curls drenched and pulled back from his face. Water dripping off the end of his nose. Swimming towards you from the little waterfall that fed into the plunge pool from the rocks above.

His hands slid familiarly around your waist, inviting you to wrap yourself around him where he held you weightlessly in the water. His lips cold to the touch as you tilted your head, kissing him with the taste of what you had done with him that morning still in your mouth.

"Imagine if you had said no." He moved you through the water, pressing you up against the soft moss of the encroaching rocks. "Where would you be?"

Josh liked to imagine things. It had been seven days since he caught you beneath that catalpa tree, catapulting you into his way of thinking.

You liked the way his mind worked. His ideas were bold and often completely avante garde. Keeping you up until dawn, touching your body absently as he weaved stories about his hopes and dreams. Leaving no detail untouched, no part of your body unappreciated. The things which you discovered about him always tethering you to him more profoundly.

If you had said no? Never could you say no to this man.

"I'm right where I'm meant to be." You replied, snaking fingers up his dripping torso.

He'd made you understand what your decisions meant. That to say yes to him would mean a life less ordinary. A life of art and sex and spiritual decadence. Dancing in the rain when it poured. Staying in bed just to explore each other. And standing at the side of a stage when it was his time to shine.

"No regrets?" He ventured further, pulling at the straps of your bikini top.

Perhaps if he had met you in another chapter of your life. You'd have shied away from him. Rejected his offer because the fear of being hurt was too great. When you were a different woman.

Sometimes it felt as if Josh had walked into the room at precisely the right moment. When you were grown enough to accept his offer. Aware of yourself so much more than you had been when you first arrived in India. A little afraid of what you were about to do. Completely unaware that the trip you'd imagined would fall completely by the wayside.

"You sound like you're trying to convince yourself that I want to be here." You mused, letting him slip the strap off your shoulder, feeling his wet curls against your cheek as he sank his teeth into the space between your shoulder and collar bone.

Sometimes there were glimpses of his uncertainty. Moments where he would look to you for reassurance. Never more so than when he had told you who he was. Almost waiting for you to be overwhelmed by it.

Visibly relieved when you had asked him to sing something for you, even though his voice could carry across the mountains. He'd crooned a lullaby softly into your ear, and you knew that you would follow wherever that voice would take you.