Unsaid Goodbyes

Chapter 2: Jasper

Most of the day had passed by in a blur, wake up, get to school, see my ex-girlfriend who claims she still wants to be friends although I still wish I could hold her for hours. It was a constant repeat, the day was getting to be more mundane by the second. I would have killed for something interesting to do.

When I walked into my last class on this long day, I sat down next to a friend of mine who I've known since we were kids. She is like a sister to me and basically the only person in this class I really feel comfortable with. Within a few minutes the teacher makes her way into the front. She urged all of us to stand up for new seating arrangements. I could feel my eyes roll as i stood up and everyone in the room shrank, but that's just what happens when you're 6'2 in a class of shorter people.

One by one people were assigned their seats, my friend only having one seat next to her that I hoped would be mine. It came down to me and another guy she knew, with two seats remaining as well. The other one was next to a girl? Boy? I couldn't tell, but all my friends have just categorized them as weird. And they definitely fit that title. They constantly look like they're on high alert for someone to attack them in some way.

"Jasper you sit over there by Aria", she said, pointing at the seat.

Within seconds my entire mood shifted. I hadn't been this upset in a while and I didn't know why a seating chart made me upset. When I sat down I noticed they didn't even try to say hi, they looked tense. Like just my presence was intimidating them. We had never even spoken before; I have done nothing to deserve this. The teacher began teaching soon after that and I noticed them and their friend, a girl known as Jess, whispering. My name was even stated, making me want to lean in a bit and eavesdrop on the conversation.

"I don't know, I want to talk to him. He seems like a decent person, but I don't know, "they whispered.

"Just try Atlas, maybe he will be just as nice as you think he is', Jess whispered back.

A new interest peaked in me. I didn't know what it was but this person seemed interesting. Maybe it was the feeling that they wanted to get to know me while I judged them from day one. The whole gender identity question was probing my mind more and more. I just have to remember to call them Atlas for right now. Pronoun question later. I saw Jess pull out a notebook paper just as I was about to tap their shoulder. Shit, I waited too long.

Within a minute, they passed whatever was written by Jess to me. All it said was 'hi, my friend wants to get to know you'. It was kind of cute that this person was too shy to tell me themself. I quickly wrote something back and passed it only to them. They opened it and I noticed their shoulders start to relax. It felt like a good sign.

We ended up talking like that for most of the class period. I learned so many interesting things about them. Like how they play with their fingers when they're nervous. How they write their letters like a serial killer does. I loved learning new things about them. They were much cooler than my friends lead me to believe.

Towards the end of class I noticed them check their phone and go right back to being tense. Maybe it was their parents? Or a toxic partner? God, don't let it be that bad. they look too fragile for bad things to be handled well. They always looked scared as it is, and I was proud of myself for making them feel safe.

For the next 5 minutes the urge to make sure they were ok overwhelmed my mind. I had to do something or I couldn't think straight. We had a few minutes before the bell rang and now was my only chance or I would be worried all weekend.

"Atlas, are you ok? You look upset about something. Did something happen to you? Do I need to kill someone?" I asked, hoping they heard me.

"I'm fine Jasper. Just zoned out." They responded in a quiet tone.

"Right. Well, the bell is about to ring. So I will talk to you later."

"Yea, see you."

That was a lie, the biggest lie I've ever heard. I needed to get to the bottom of this now.

Once the bell rang i ran out of the room to find one of their friends so that maybe i could get into some form of contact with them. Around the corner I saw Mia, a person I had seen around them many times in the past. I just had to hope they were close enough to have Atlas' contact information.

"Mia, quick question." I almost yelled.

"Yikes, be quiet Jasper. What is it?"

"Do you have contact with Atlas. Like a phone number, or Snap. I need to know something."

She sighed. "Yes, his phone number is–"

"One second."

I instantly looked for my phone in my bag and opened my contacts. "Continue"

As Mia told me the digits I typed them in quickly. She left before I could say thank you, so I headed outside to catch my bus. Anxiety fueled through my body, I had to rewrite the text probably a hundred times before I just decided on the simplest thing to say. I cut that text down from a paragraph to a few simple words. After a few seconds of thinking, i pressed send.

'Hey, this is Jasper. You seemed off at the
end of class today, and I wanted to make
sure everything was ok'