Blurred Lines (Käärijä X Bojan)

Lust

Bojan couldn't deny he felt a burning tension between them. A tension that only grew the closer they got, the more time they spent in each other's presence. A tension that Bojan felt so strongly as if it was pure fire burning through the layers of his skin. A yearning that spread through his veins like wildfire, reaching every inch of him. A tension he wished to believe wasn't one-sided. He wished to believe that it wasn't only him aching to be touched by the other. Aching to run his fingers across his chest, feel every part of him. That it wasn't only him wondering about how it would feel if he gave into this desire. If he could feel the softness of the others abdomen, if he could grab on them or on his tits that looked so delish, so inviting, making him wonder if he wouldn't suppose to touch, why they seemed to fit perfectly in the hands of him, whenever he sneakily held them.

There was a want, a deep want to be held and loved passionately by Käärijä. A want to have him all to himself, even if for one night. A want, he knew existed. It was in the soft touches that made Bojan shiver, the touches he craved to continue coming, instead of them stopping. It was in the moments he spent a second longer staring at the curves of Käärijä's lips. It was in how his heart fluttered, whenever Käärijä hugged him, when he ached to melt into the touch and kiss him deeply. It was in the desire to dive in and know if it was only him dancing or was Käärijä dancing around him too.

He knew this all. But Bojan decided to ignore it. For the sake of their friendship, he told himself.

He pushed those feelings down, hiding them in the deepest corner of his mind. Hoping if he pretends they never existed, they simply go away. Hoping his body would follow the orders of his mind and stop reacting to every little action of Käärijä. Hoping that if he didn't feed into his deep desires, they would burn out like a candle deprived of oxygen, and wouldn't erupt like a volcano instead.

He tried. He really did.

He pretended he wasn't completely entranced whenever he saw Käärijä perform, that he wasn't affected by his charisma and stage presence, that he didn't find it incredibly hot, and that he didn't wish for Käärijä to perform just for him, looking only at him. He pretended he didn't want to hear that deep voice whisper sweet lies into his ear, while his hand finds its way into his pants. He pretended that the small kiss he received on his neck didn't set him on flames, that he didn't wish the other to push him against a wall and leave his mark on his skin. Right there, in front of everyone, him getting what others only could dream of, Käärijä's undivided attention. He pretended he wouldn't proudly carry the deep reddish-purple bruise. And that he wouldn't find pleasure in the thought of how it was made.

And even now, with Käärijä excitedly talking about their future plans in Finland, his hand following the flow of his words in his excitement, with him trying his best to explain everything to Bojan through his broken English, with such joy radiating from his body it would make anyone feel warm and fuzzy inside, Bojan pretended he didn't want to kiss the words off his mouth. That the pull wasn't so strong he almost couldn't stop himself. That his eyes weren't fixated only on one part of Käärijä and his mind didn't shut down and turned him into a primal beast, waiting for the right moment to attack his prey. What if he gave in? Just once, putting on an end to his seemingly endless pining. It would be so easy, to lean in and let his body finally melt into Käärijä's, their lips like two puzzle pieces, completing each other as if they were always meant to connect.

What if he let his feelings loose? Let them out of their cage? If he devoured Käärijä like he wanted for days? Would the other let him do it? Or would he push away?

The thought of rejection sent a painful wave through his body. The thought was almost unbearable. The thought that the one you crave so desperately does not want you back. The possibility of it and the possibility of his actions completely ruining what they have now, cleared his mind a bit.