Blitzø x Reader Oneshots

When Verosika Hits on Y/n

(this was requested by wellnowimreadingit thank u very much for the request i had a bunch of fun writing this, anyway this takes place in S1 Ep3 Spring Broken bc why not anyways happy reading! <3)

Y/n's POV

As always, Blitzø was driving the van around like a drunken maniac, blasting music and badly singing along to it with Moxxie in the backseat holding his ears closed, Loona growling because she had to sit in the middle seat, and Millie letting her hair sway in the wind out the window. I, on the other hand, was in the front seat, jamming out with Blitzø. Suddenly, the brightest, pinkest, cleanest car I've ever seen in my entire hell-life parked in our parking spot, and of course, Blitzø immediately hit the brakes and turned off the music as I shut the fuck up. Of course, Blitzø was pissed and brought of a convenient megaphone, shouting into it to the people in our parking space, "LISTEN UP YOU (i honestly have no idea what he said here 😭 💀) YOU HAVE THREE GODDAMN SECONDS TO GET YOUR TITS OUT OF MY PARKING SPOT!" A succubus that was as pink and bright as the car came out, scowling and glaring at Blitzø. I kinda recognize-

"Oh shit... Verosika?" Blitzø calmed down a bit and stopped yelling. Verosika only blew a bubblegum bubble and said, "Blitzo." WAIT, SHE KNOWS HIS NA-

"I should've known you'd be here; I can smell fish for miles, which is odd, because I believe the nearest ocean is- [Blitzø fell out of the car window and face planted onto the ground.] THREE RINGS DOOOOWN!" Blitzø began to shout again... why was he so mad at Verosika? What beef did he get into now?

"And I should've known you'd be here when I heard the amber alerts." Verosika responded.

"Oh yeah? I'm surprised they let your fat ass out of rehab, I see you're still a drunken whore, clutching onto that beelzejuice bottle like it's the last cockin' hell!" Blitzø barked, insulting Verosika.

"They let me out because I'm still famous, [Verosika did a dramatic hair flip.] and rehab is for sad, loser wash-ups, [Verosika drank from her flask.] ...so your sister says hi..." Verosika wiped a bit of that spicy grape juice off of her lip.

"Why are you parkin' here?" Blitzø asked, clenching his teeth. "This is the ONLY PARKING SPOT MY COMPANY HAS, SO TAKE YOUR TAMPON RACE CAR SOMEWHERE ELSE!" Blitzø growled angrily as the tension between the two grew by the second.

I looked back at the imps in the backseat. Pretty much everyone was oblivious to what was happening outside. I needed to let at least someone else know what was happening. I placed my finger on the top of Loona's phone. She looked up, already annoyed. If looks could kill, I'd be double-dead. I gestured to the argument happening outside, Loona rolled her eyes and looked for one second, but then took a double take seeing that it was Verosika Blitzø was talking to. "No way..." She muttered.

"Yes way, and I'm goin' out there!" I declared, opening the door. Verosika and Blitzø paused their argument to look at me. Verosika only smirked at me.

"HEY DIPSHIT, THAT'S MY BITCH YOU'RE FUCKIN' WITH!" I hollered, walking towards Verosika and smelling a really, REALLY strong scent of sex as I got closer and closer to her.

"Mm... who's this cutie, Blitzo...?" Verosika asked seductively, not taking her eyes off of me and holding my chin.

"HANDS OFF, WHORE, THEY'RE MINE!" Blitzø immediately slapped Verosika's hand away and stepped in front of me to shield me.

"Oh, they're yours? At least that's only temporary..." Verosika gave me a smirk that screamed, "I'm gonna fuck you so hard, you won't even have the energy to scream..."