Life is calling me
And I'm too lazy
Too scared
To answer
Life
It calls me
But
I'm scared
To leave
To go
To connect
To disconnect
To be alone
Yet be around others
The taste of freedom
What does it taste like
Is it sweet
Hearty like stew
Or nothing at all
Freedom
Just another word
For nothing left to lose
Groan
I hate being alone
But when I'm not
And I need to journal
To write my deep
Dark
Pain enticed
Thoughts down
I'm suddenly needed
And I have mixed feelings in it
I'm never needed
I'm the one that is always needing
Needing money
Love
Attention
Medicine
A drink
I take
And take
And take
Maybe because I gave so much
To my ex
I take so much now
Maybe
I just need now what I lacked then
Still
How can I stand
On my own two feet
I have nothing
But bills
If I didn't have these
STOP
AJ
What do you want
You want to be free
Be a badass bitch
Yet you don't jog anymore
You're afraid to be alone
I'm more confused
More than before I was writing
I'm so sad
So scared of life
I don't want to be this way
This is how I view myself
I hate myself
But I can't
I can't focus on that
If I do,
I become more into
The person I hate
YOU ARE READING
Colors of My Mind
PoetryI wrote these poems during the darkest time of my life. Writing is what got me out of my crippling depression. -Piece is not fully posted- Regularly updated. There is mention of: sex, self harm, self loathing, drinking. Foul language. * I do not s...
