(IDEK WHERE I WENT WITH THIS JESUS...SORRY IT'S SHIT IT WAS MORE OF A RANT THAN A STORY OR A POEM THING SORRY)
I'm screaming out your name and you don't hear a sound... you're to caught up with her to see the love I have for you i gave my all to you while you give your all to her we used to be so close and now it's like a rare gift from god when i even get a smile from you...i was just a nieve girl to think i actually meant something to you... in reality i was just a one night stand.... now I'm lying to everyone for you so that you can keep her.... the shitty thing is I'm not mad at you I'm mad at myself because i should've known better... shes a really good person... and i feel sick to my stomach when i remember what we did... because if she knew it would kill her and she doesn't deserve that kind of pain...yet i sit here in envy because you are hers and she is yours if only she knew what we did not so long ago... but i would never tell because that would ruin not only your happiness but hers as well.... she doesn't deserve that and you don't deserve her....you know i cry when i think of you sometimes but you probably wouldn't care... remember when you said "you're in love with me aren't you?" well yea actually i am I'm surprised I'm not crying while typing this and although its probably one of the worst things ever written it'd what i feel...you once told me you loved me and i said "no you don't you love her" you typed and untyped and eventually said "i love you" again my only response was "yea but not in the way i want you to" you got so upset and told me to shut up because i was only hurting you and myself and i did not for me but for you because I'd do anything to be the reason you smile everyday but I'm not...I recently heard you told some other girl you wished you would've kissed her and thats not what you're supposed to do when you have a girlfriend....you do not deserve her...she deserves so much better but then again she loves you....and i can't really say anything either because I'm in love with you too and this entire writing is shit but it's whatever because this is the only way i can kind of vaguely say what's been bottled up inside and to tell the truth of you....i hate you but i love you with everything that i am T.R.... I'm sorru A.....
-katt
