𝐁𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝟐

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟒

-𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐄𝐒-

It's been 3 days since CJ came out of the hospital. Everything was alright with her and I was doing my part time job while she was training again. She wanted her physic back. She had kept it up but she looked different from the last time I saw her. I came back from work and saw something that made me drop my stuff and walk further into the house. The huge backpack that CJ had been carrying when going to war was laying in the hallway. I walked into the living room to see our boys hugging their mom... who was wearing her uniform. What the hell is this supposed to mean?

"Cherie?"

"Oh hey your home."

"Yeah... where are you going?"

"I'm flying back to the Netherlands. I have work duties just like you guys do."

"No no no. You can't go back there. They'll fucking kill you if you go out there again!"

"Charles calm down. I'm not going into the field. I'm gonna be placed in Nice. I'll stay here and do my work from Nice. I just need to make sure everything is good in the Netherlands with paperwork and all."

"You scared me a little with that."

"I know I'm sorry. I only heard this morning that I had to go to the Netherlands."

𝟐 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫

We landed in the US for a family vacation. We staid in San Francisco and the first thing the boys wanted to do was go to a shooting range. They were making a fight out of who could shoot first as CJ was selecting a gun from the collection as she got to lead the boys herself.

"Boys stop it!"

They kept fighting and fighting and I was so over it because it gave me headache.

"You want me to call your mother?!"

"No!"

"Ahah works every time. You guys are scared of her aren't you guys?"

"Call me for what?"

"Oh! CJ, my love. I didn't know you were already here. Did I tell you I love you."

"Multiple times. Boys... ready to go?"

We all placed on headphones to prevent the noise from hurting our ears as we followed after CJ. She was wearing a leather jacket over her white top and her blue jeans. She did some shooting before laying the gun down. She pulled her shirt up and a gun came out from her jeans. What the hell... Maverick and Meeko both looked up at me and swallowed.

"CJ?"

"Yeah."

"Why do you carry a gun?"

"Oh uhm. Nothing special."

She started shooting and then called Maverick to go and try first. They both did pretty well for their first time but I was still questioning why she would carry a gun. When we got back at the hotel I pulled her into the bathroom to talk with her. I locked the door and stood against it looking at her. She frowned at me as she leaned against the shower door.

"Why do you carry a gun?"

"Nothing special."

"That's what you said that one time when you were being followed as well."

"I just don't feel safe without one anymore alright. I've been through things that I don't want to remember but in order to give myself a safe feeling... I need to carry a gun."

"Cherie you don't need a gun to feel safe. You have so many people around you to protect you... you don't need that."

"You don't understand Charles..."

Her was a soft whisper as her voice broke.

"I do understand. You've been through a lot and you need some kind of safety but don't you think a gun is the wrong answer?"

"It's the right one for me and a lot of other people. You don't know half the things I've seen in my life. I wish nobody to see that or make decisions like that..."

"Cherie it can't be that bad that you carry a gun around from now on."

A knock on the door made her eyes go big as she watched the door with big eyes. How could that trigger her. I opened the door to see Meeko.

"Dad I need to use the toilet."

"Pee on people that walk below the balcony."

"Really?! Say less!"

He walked away as I closed the door again. I looked back at a shaking wife. What the hell happened to her. She's in a shock right now. I grabbed her face between my hands and started talking to her softly as she slowly calmed back down. She started crying and wrapped her in a hug. Her sobs were a little louder then when she started as her body trembled.

"I shouldn't have done it Charles... I shouldn't have!"

"Shouldn't have done what... Cherie please talk to me... you know you're safe with me... please tell me. I want to help you."

"I killed her. It was my call. I could have saved her. I could have saved her but I let kill her because I was selfish and choose myself over her Charles. I killed her... because one of us wouldn't survive either way."

"CJ... calm down... calm down... who is she... who did they kill..."

"My daughter..."

Her sobs grew louder as I could feel the color drain form my face. I had a daughter... she was killed by those man who kidnapped my wife for years... and now CJ feels guilty because she chose herself over a new born child.

"It's okay... it's okay cherie. Everything will be alright. It will all be alright."

I wondered what she would have looked like for the time she was alive. Would she have looked like her brothers or was she the opposite of them. I swallowed as I felt a lump in my throat. That must have been hard... giving up your daughter for yourself...

"She won't blame you... we both know she would have never survived if you decided to do it the other way around... I don't blame you as well cherie. You did what you had to do and that was a choice to get back here to your boys..."

"She wasn't yours Charles..."

I pulled my face away and looked at her tear stained face.

"What do you mean she's not mine?"

She shook her head softly as she sobbed harder. I stood up from the bathroom floor and looked up at her. I could feel my face was stood furiously.

(1081 words)