Swords Aren't for Princesses

A Princess Doesn't...

"Do you ever feel like you don't belong? Or like you're living as someone other than yourself? Like your life was meant for someone else? That's exactly how I feel. I always try to tell people, but no one ever listens to me. And it might seem ungrateful, but the royal life just isn't meant for me. Father never listens when I tell him I want to take up sword fighting. "Swords are for men. If u want a hobby, maybe try singing or art," He said sternly and walked away. "Princesses, don't fight." He turned and walk away. That was the last time I spoke about it. 

Gram died when I was 7, and my mom ran away shortly after. So I didn't have much of a feminine upbringing. Once I reached age 13, my dad started getting strict with all the little things "Sit like a lady," "sit up straight," and "smile more." And all the typical ladylike behavior. "cross your ankles," "wave but not too much elbow." It was hard, and so my dad decided I needed more women figures in my life. I got a princess coach, ladies in waiting, and all my teachers were swapped to be female. My life did a complete 360 because my father decided I wasn't lady enough.

 I'm 18 now, and ever since my birthday, everyone cracked down even harder on my "behavior." I'm being watched like a hawk. Unless my dad is giving a press conference or talking to my possible suitors, he's helicoptering me. And if it isn't him, it's my coach Pricilla. A 76-year-old grandma with her hair pulled back too tight. She might be worse than my dad. "small steps Angelina, TOO BIG. You walk like a mammoth." "that color is too dark," "too revealing, you're a princess not a whore." Pricilla is satan himself wrapped in wrinkly skin with saggy boobs. 

"Angelina," I heard my dad call from down the hall. Shit, what does he want? I peeked over the corner to spot my dad asking the maid where I was. "Where's my daughter? Where's Angie?" My maid pointed in my direction, and I moved back behind the wall and started tip-toeing away. I could hear his footsteps getting louder and louder. I don't know what I did, but I hope it's not too bad. "Angie guess what?" I turn and stand up straight. Shoulder back, feet together hands behind my back. "Yes?" 

The king smiled an unusual smile. He never smiles... it must be really bad.  My dad's smile faded when he looked me up and down and I knew I had messed up. "Princesses don't stand like knights, you shoulders are too far back and legs too straight." He stated matter of factly. "Right, my bad, you're sire," I did a low curtsy and cursed myself. I corrected my stance and let him continue after gaining his approval  "I have found you a suitable fiancé." I was too shocked to speak.

I just stared at the king. "you and Pricilla are to leave for his kingdom in three days' time. There's too much going on in our kingdom, and you two will be needing time to get to know one another. Pricilla will be there to attend to you and make sure you're on your best behavior."I was so lost in thought all I could babble was "I....I..." " That is all," the kings deep voice echoed in the hall.  He turned on his heel and walked away. I've been dreading this day since I became eligible. I ran to my room with Pricilla chasing behind me with her old brittle chicken legs. "Princesses, don't run," fuck that. I locked the door once I was in the room. I cried for the rest of the night. I'm not sure when I fell asleep, but it was too late.

I was woken up by a loud banging on the door. The solid oak echoed throughout the room, leaving a ringing in my ear. "I'm up, I'm up" Uh oh, I'm gonna get so much shit this morning. Well, afternoon actually, gosh, I can't deal with this. I'm in yesterday's clothes, I haven't bathed yet, I slept in way too late, and my makeup is ruined. "good morning," outside my door was Pricilla, my father, and they were both red with rage. I fucked up. When I was younger, such small mistakes as sleeping in didn't matter. Now all of a sudden, I could wake up five minutes late, and it's like the castle is on fire. I'm so sick of this. Sick of watching my step, sick of high heels and tiaras that are so heavy I have a constant headache. I'm sick of speaking like a help commercial. And I'm sick of being fake.

I took a deep sigh. "I know, I messed up. A princess doesn't sleep in, she doesn't fall asleep in yesterday's gown, and she doesn't greet people with messy makeup and unbathed. I will get on it." They both looked shocked as I owned up to my wrongdoings. But they didn't say anything. Pricilla even motioned for me to go. I closed the door with an empty expression. To be honest, I feel empty. I'm constantly walking on eggshells here. Maybe when I visit my fiancé, things will be better, and I'll have more freedom.

I can definitely escape Pricilla. She's old, scary, but old. I just need to get out of this kingdom and away from these responsibilities. The rest of the day went by in a blur. I got called out 23 times for non-princess-like behavior. Had my lessons, hid from Pricilla and my dad, and cried while I packed. And got yelled at again for not packing the right things. 2 days later, I had managed to hide some regular people's clothes in my bags in case I managed the chance to be human once. I thought of this as I prepared to step onto the plane. The opportunity of freedom, to be myself, make some friends, and maybe find love. I think I might like this. I think I'm ready for this change. My dad couldn't take me to the airport, my goodbye was a hug and a cool reminder to stay on my best behavior "a prince won't like a misbehaved princess. Stay quiet and listen to Pricilla." He said as I got in the car to leave. I wish he showed a bit more emotion and actually cared about me being a person rather than a robot.