Untitled Story Part

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I miss the life I quite liked.

Waking up. Feeling refreshed. Having the feeling that I'm happy. That I'm smiling.

It's been 3 years that all of those moments have been vanished. I don't remember how to smile deeper. How to feel better. How to touch life with calm manner without breaking myself.

Things I wanted to say but never did. How many they could be? 10? Or numerous?

I felt all the emotions and feelings that I was forbid to feel so. My soul sometimes screams of the hollow darkness deepening me in. I still remember my past. Those moments when I wanted to vanish myself with snap of my fingers. Or, drown into my tears without anyone noticing.

Still no one notices. Not even the love of my life that once, once upon a time I wanted to sacrifice my life for. Nothing stays. No one stays and us, humans, always persuade each other to have hope.

Hope... What a far word and out of my reach. What a coincidence.

Things I wanted to say but never did? I think they're a lot. I think, I won't get tired of repeating them over and over again and I just drown deeper without realizing.

Fucked up life, isn't it?

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