First Love

confusion

wednesday August 16
OMG I can't believe he will be in 3 of my classes I mean can this get any better? I'm so glad we are friends maybe one day he will realize that I'm very special and we could be more... today we talked I wonder if he knows how I feel!? sometimes I feel like he does like me and sometimes I feel like he doesn't can't I just read his mind!!! can't he just come up to me and tell me what he feels towards me!?!

Thursday August 17
Angel and Paola doesn't that just sound beautiful?! I wish I could tell him that I like him I mean what do I have to loose? only my dignity and some of my self esteem and having to see him in 3 classes! I changed my mind I'm such a wimp, how do I always end up talking myself out of things?

Friday August 18
I am going to kill Anabelle I can't believe she would do this to me!!! I knew I shouldn't have told her about it, I didn't think she would do this to me. now how will I look at Angel!?

Monday August 21
Well I tried my best to not make eye contact with him, I mean how are you suposto look at someone after your friend tells him how you feel! Oh kill me now! I tried not to talk to him and to stay away. I mean what if he says something like ew why would I like you!?!

Tuesday august 22
Oh no I shouldn't have acted so strange and different after Annabell told him! Today he came up to me and asked what was wrong why was I acting different... And then came the next few words that almost killed me "was it what Annabell told me?"! I tried to walk away and he kept insisting he wouldn't leave me alone! I got so annoyed that maid the biggest mistake of my life, and answered yes! Oh then the worst part came I tried walking away again but he stopped me to say "look don't take this in a rude way I honestly do like you but I want to only focus in school right now so don't be ashamed I feel the same way, I won't really have time to spend with you and that wouldn't be fair to you. I would like to spend alot of time with my girlfreind and I wouldn't be able to do many things with her because Im to busy. but believe me I really do like you " and then stupid me answered " no it's fine I mean I didn't expect anything you were not suppose to know". Ok i mean I was under pressure what was I supose to say!?!? Do you really think he ment it or was it a way to tell me no I don't like you but without actually saying it? What am I going to do Tommarrow? Oh kill me now I am so confused!

wednesday august 23
Wow didn't I panic today! What am I going to do I just bursted on angel! I told him that he shouldn't have tried to make me talk if I wasn't ready and that he should have understood that I was scared of talking to him at the moment. I mean could I get any stupider?