I NEED U [ BTS STORY ]

J-Hope's Story

"You can't do this to me,

All of the things you said are like a mask,

It hides the truth and rips me apart,

It pierces me, I'm going crazy,

I hate this, take it all away, I hate you"

----------------------------

J-Hope's POV

"Oppa, saranghae !" She said to me for the nth time. This girl, right beside me, she really loves me. I don't know why , of all the other boys out there she chose me, to be with her for a life time. If it's possible.

Because, there is something in me, an illness that is incurable, there's no treatment for it. I'm having an illness called narcolepsy. I don't know if it's deadly or not, but I'm fine it, because i have them for over 2 years already.

She never found out that I'm having this kind of situation, because I don't want her to worry about me, I don't want her to pity me, much more and be a burden to her. So I decided to just keep my mouth shut about my sickness.

I'm with her right now, walking down the street to her favorite cafe.

She's been talking a lot since earlier about random stuffs and crazy jokes, that made us both laugh.

"Oppa ! Smile !" *clicks* She took a photo of me without me getting ready.

"Yah ! I wasn't ready yet ! I tried to grab the camera but she's hiding it behind her while spinning around to avoid my grasp.

*mehrong* " You can't get it from me !!!" She said starting to run off away from me.

One reason why I love her so much and why I can't let her go, it's not just because of my illness that I can't let her go, It's because were like the same.

Our personality matches. Me, being noisy and always happy. She, that always talk a lot about random things and make fun out of it. That's why I love her so much.

We arrived to the cafe breathing heavily because of the long run, She then took another photo of me while panting really hard, then she laughs out loud. It makes me chuckle seeing her smiling and laughing like that.

We entered the cafe shop and went straight to the counter to order. After we ordered our menu, we went to find a table,

and there it is, beside the glass window.

We sat comfortably on the chairs and she took out her phone and starts to play with it, it looks like she's texting someone, maybe her friends ?

I was about to ask who's she texting but then our order arrived, she immediately hid her phone on her purse.

We munched in our ordered pastries and coffees.
As I was eating, I felt a little drowsy and kind of sleepy.
Oh no ! , NO! NO! NO! NOT INFRONT OF HER !!
I panicked in my thoughts.

She noticed that I am a bit spacey already so she asked me,

"Oppa, gwaenchana ?"

I nodded "Uh- I just need to use the wash room."
Then I went off without another word.

My vision is starting to blur so I hurried my pace towards the wash room.
I entered it and locked the door.

I took out pills from my pocket.
It's not a medication pill but it prevents me from falling asleep to where I am. It's like a boost up pill, somethin like that.

I swallowed whole the one piece pill that I shook out from the small bottled container.
I opened the tap and drank some of the water that's flowing out from it.

Slowly, my vision starts clearing again and I can see a lil' bit better now.

I went out from the washroom and back to where we are seated, too see that she's no longer there.

I look through every corner inside the shop, No her.
Maybe she also took the wash room. So I decided to wait for her.

5 .... 10 .... 15 minutes and more,
There still no sign of her.
I started walking out the shop and by the streets looking for her.

As I passed by a 5 star restaurant, I thought of looking for her there, but naahh , that restau is too expensive too pay for food there.

As I was about to turn around, I heard a very familiar voice and a laugh.
I slowly paced my head towards the direction to where the familiar voice was coming from,

I saw her, I saw her... Laughing, cuddling and kissing that guy she's with.

"Hey babe, when do you plan on getting rid of that horse-face guy ?" I heard the guy said.
Just what did he say ?

"Hmmm... I guess I'll break up with him later night at a nearby park. I don't even love that guy, he sucks !! I love you more Yeobo !!"
After she said that she kissed him, passionately and full of love.

I guess she really didn't love me, after all, I'm just an average guy with an illness that's incurable.

I left walking down the street. A while later, my phone beeped, initiatibg that there is a message.

I bet she texted me too meet her up in the park, to where she'll broke up with me.

I walked slowly, not wanting thiz night to be over, knowing that tomorrow, she won't be mine anymore.

I arrived at the park an hour and half late to what the exact time should be. There she was, looking irritated that I was late.

Let me tell you that I've never been late, ever ! In any of our dates. She was always the late one, since I love her so much, I always forgive her.

I went straight to her, standing up facing her.

*paaak*
She slapped me hard, I know it should hurt, but I didn't feel anything, I was already numb, because of anxiousness and fear of losing her.

"You're late !! I know I texted you that be here on time !! Aaisshh !!"
She cursed under her breathe.
I didn't speak or utter a word because I know she'll get mad more.

"Let's make this clear already !!
Ughh , were OVER !! GET THAT ?!! I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU ANYMORE. GO FIND SOMEONE WHO'S WORTHY FOR YOU !!!"

With that, she turned back walking straight to that guy fron earlier, linking arms with him and off to were they will go.

While me, here left alone.
I can't cry, nor run, I'm hurt and broken but I can't feel it, I'm too numb to feel anything.

I walked all the way back home.
I entered my room, looking straight to that frame with the picture of the two off us.

I ignored it and walked to the bath room.

Facing a mirror, I held up my hand touching the part below my lips where I used to be kissed by her.

I opened the medicine cabinet right behind that mirror I was facing, I took a random bottled pills, opened them up, shaking out tablets as many as I could and swallowed them. Too make it short, I overdosed myself.

I slept there inside the bath room without me knowing.

Next morning ....

I woke up right there beside the bath tub.I walked straight out of the house through the streets and then to a bridge.

I walked slowly than ever, step by step, I'm feeling weak. I tried to pace up and walk steadily, but I can't.

My vision slowly starts blurring my eyesight. My head was like spinning around, I feel so dizzy.

And at that right moment, I collapsed in the middle of the side walk by the road.

There's no one that can help me now.

By that, I see light covering my entire surrounding.
Light, an unending light.

~sofi1kaibam