ᴬʳᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ᵗʰᵉ ᵒⁿᵉ?

Forgive♡

Mom: please... do not leave.
Park Jisung : "I can't do this anymore."
Mom : I can't do it without you, Jisung. Please.
Jisung : "Hara, I don't love you anymore". I just can't keep this… I have to leave ; It's better for both of us.
Hara : What about our babies ? What about Yun ? What about me ?
Jisung : Please do not make it harder than it is.
Hara : Why… I still want you… I can't… I just need you, please, Jisung. I swear to God, I will change… I still need you, JiSung.
Jisung : "You can let it go, Hara". 
Hara : Please, Jisung, let's go home. Our house, the one we built together and swore we would live the perfect times in it.
  

I had to take a deep breath before speaking because I knew I was so close to crying.
Hara: jisung.... I don't know if you will make this up someday. I know that you are tired of everything. I know you feel like there's no one near, even though I am here, but... (She took a deep breath)... You are free to go Jisung. Just let me tell you, the kids will grow up hating you. I'll make sure of it, even if they don't want to. I will turn all the love inside me for you into hatred.
My mom told me that someday someone will break me so badly that I won't recognize myself after it, and she was right. My flowers never flowered the way they did when Jisung was around. I always felt like flying next to him. But the day he left, it felt like swimming in an endless pool; his love was an ocean, and I chose to get drawn into it. 

Now: 

Jay: I hope I'm not late.

Y/n:not really. How are things going?

Jay: Everything is okay.

Y/N: Are you sure about that? I have been told that you always narrow your eyes when you are hiding something.

Jay: "Oh no, I'm really fine.

Y/n: I wonder when you are going to let me in, Jay.

Jay: What do you mean?

Y/n: I mean, it is not bad to let someone in; let someone help you. Having someone to rely on is good. A wise man named Jay told me this once.

Jay: don't steal my words. I will tell you what is going on. Once we get back For now, let's enjoy our time together.

Jay's pov: 
Call me depressed, but I can't help but feel that I don't deserve to be loved. I just can't think that someone may love me. Especially sunshine like her.
She has given me something I can't live without. Something the rest of me never knew. Something brought back my lost life, but there's always something I won't know behind her smile. It feels like there's something I wouldn't be able to face. I feel like loving her would be the end of her.

You had the best time together; you tried all the rollercoasters in the park, you ate literally everything, and you bought matching necklaces and matching teddy bears. Jay looked so happy; his smile never faded. You even thought, "How can a person smile this brightly?" In fact, you wondered how he could smile so widely while being with you. Because you have heard everything about how your energy always ruins the mood and how your face brings sadness to whomever meets you.

You finally got off your last ride.
Y/n: Let's sit down.
Jay: bench or grass? Choose.
Y/n: grass, of course.
You laid out on the grass together, silently looking at the gray sky above you.
 
Jay: y/n, Can I ask you something?
Y/n: anything Jay.
Jay: Have you loved someone before?
Y/n : I've never loved someone before, not because I don't want to, but because how can I love someone if I don't even love who I am? What about you?
Jay: I mean, how can I give someone the whole of me when I'm only half of mine? I just can't recognize myself. I don't recognize myself sometimes. But I guess that is changing now.
Y/n: Right, I can relate. Now my broken side is getting repaired.
Jay: I hope mine gets repaired too.

Y/n: My turn; what happened before we met together?

Jay: uh, You know that I come from a very well-known family, y/n. I'm also an only child. It is very hard to have demanding parents who want you to be the perfect, flawless son. Be an idolized person. Be a good kid, a good son, a good student, be someone every dad and mom will wish for but never get to have one. I know that they love me but it's a tough one . I rather be hated than being loved in such way . This might seem bad and you might think that " atleast you are loved, some people can't experience that" . I'd say " I don't want such controlling love" . I feel conditionally loved. I'm only loved when I get high grades, high complements, high praises from other people. Only loved when my dad gets a " your son is very behaved" and when my mom gets" you are lucky to have a polite kid" . It's never " I'm lucky because he's my son" .I feel so tired of this situation.

My mom is just scared that someone will take advantage of me because of who I am. She thinks that friends go out with me because I can pay for them or that girls want to be with me because I'll provide them with certain things. I mean, she can be right, but how can I know if I never see for myself.

And this evening, she asked me who I was going out with. She has the right to know because she's my mom. but I don't get why she never trusts me. Why do I always feel controlled?
Y/n: I have assumed that your life is perfectly perfect based on the way you smile. But it's true that the prettiest smiles hide the saddest facts. I can relate to your situation more than you can imagine. I won't tell you to try to change the situation. Because it will never change. Your parents will still control you, and they won't stop. All I can say is that, as long as I'm here, I'll be your cure. As long as I'm here, no one will get hurt. As long as I'm here, I'll make sure to change the way you see yourself, Jay.

Jay: I promise you. Y/N, I'll make you feel alright, even though I'm so tired that I want to cry. But be my cure, and I'll be yours. That's a life promise from a 15-year-old boy.

Y/N: Do you want to make a wish together? Jay .

Jay: Which is it?

Y/n: Let's wish something now, and we can tell each other when we think that it's our last time seeing each other.

Jay: I hope I never get to know your wish.