you're losing me
this is loosely based off of taylor's new unreleased song so i hope y'all enjoy
( i wrote this at 12 am so pls ignore how poorly written it is)
these past few days you couldn't get out of bed. you've recently been craving the attention of matt. you didn't want to admit but he's become a part of you're daily routine, and without him it's been quite boring.
the reason you've been missing him an extra lot lately is because of his busy schedule. he just got back from tour a couple weeks ago, during those weeks matt bombarded you with love bombs and reassured you that he loved you. although you found it really hard to believe.
you and matt weren't exclusive, you weren't dating and you weren't talking either. but you guys weren't nothing, you weren't just friends and you definitely were not platonic.
you found it hard to believe some days that matt truly loved you more than just a best friend, even though he would reassure you that he did.
all you ever wanted was labels. you just wanted reassurance and stability knowing that you and matt were meant to be together.
matt on the other hand wasn't a fan of commitment. he didn't want a relationship. most especially because of the place he was in at the moment. he had millions of fan girls swooning over him. he didn't want to risk his career and fanbase. he was never the one good at communicating either. he didn't want to risk losing you, just because he failed at being in a relationship.
present day
11 missed calls from matt
5 missed calls from nick
7 missed calls from chris
y/n pov
you didn't want to move from you're bed. you hadn't left you're apartment in four days, you're room was a mess and so we're you.
you decided to get up and take a shower. you changed into a hoodie and biker shorts and put you're hair in a messy bun. you were sat down on you're kitchens island until you decided to go to the triplets apartment. you needed to be heard.
you drive there you and heard the door knob being turned, the door opened introducing a tired looking matt.
"y/n what the hell, where have you been?"
the boy said with a sigh of relief. you really were not in the mood to argue so instead you gave him a reasonable answer.
"home, duh" you said attempting to lift the mood.
"what so you're just going to ghost me now? you're just gonna throw everything away"
"matt can we please not do this right now" you said not wanting to be reminded of the argument a couple nights before.
"i'm sorry that we had out disagreement but i didn't think you'd just walk out on me. this is the problem with you y/n. you never want to face you're problems and i'm getting pretty sick of it"
"OH, you're sick matt? well guess what i'm sick AND tired. you're losing me matt. do you not see it? and i'm sorry you think of us a problem but i've tried with you and you're not willing to give us a chance."
you said raising you're voice. you couldn't help but tear up, you felt like you were talking to a wall.
"y/n i'm sorry but you know me, i'm not good at relationships. i suck at commitment and you know that i'm trying my best to communicate with you right now, and you're making it really difficult. you aren't thinking of how it could affect me. dating you can risk the number of our fanbases. i love you a lot and you know that it's not that i don't want to be with you"
"how can you say that you love someone, you can't tell is dying? i sent you signals and tried telling you i couldn't handle being secret anymore. it's hard to believe you when you say you love me but you're not willing to be with me. why can't you just give us a try"
"y/n you know i can't risk it, it's my job. i have a contract.
"how long do we have to keep doing this matt. i can't with the secret relationship anymore i want to be with you and i know you want to be with me, god why won't you. "
"y/n stop it you know i can't risk it."
he said running his hands through his hair pacing back and fourth around the room.
"i get it matt, i wouldn't date me either, a pathological people pleaser. who only wanted to show you how it felt to be loved. but i can't take it anymore. i'm slowly losing myself waiting for you. "
you started rambling on, not thinking of what you were saying and only what you were truly thinking. until matt didn't interrupted you this time. instead he stayed quiet, the only thing his face showed was guilt and glossy eyes.
"do something matt, say something. lose something, RISK something. why won't you choose something me or your reputation. because i've got nothing. unless you're choosing me. you're losing me matt."
you didn't give him to respond instead you walked out of their apartment and closed the door. making sure that it was loud enough for all the neighborhood to hear.
part 2?!
