𝐃𝐨𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐀𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 ˢʰᵘⁿᵗᵃʳᵒ ᶜʰⁱˢʰⁱʸᵃ

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After four years of Highschool, four years of University and four years of Medical School, I finally became a Doctor. My first months were hard, but then it got easier, until some point.

Flashback

"Hira's condition has stabilized, so this operation should save her.", I said, walking with my boss along a hallway. "I need to talk to you about that. The waiting list order for transplants has changed." I stopped walking. "The order has changed?" He turned to me, completely not caring at all. "Yes." My boss packed out an envelope. "This patient will get a transplant first." I took it and opened it. Inside was a paper. Jace. "The grandson of a friend of the director." My eyes wandered over the paper. "Then what about Hira?" If she wouldn't get this one, she wouldn't make it. "She'll get her later. They're a big financial donor. That's how this hospital survives. It can't be helped. Everything has an order of importance in this world. You explain things to that patients parents." With that he walked away. I was still in shock. I really didn't wanted to tell the parents this, but I had no choice right? "What reason do I give?", I asked him, loud enough for him to hear me. He chuckled. "Think of one. You're her physician, right?" What an asshole.

I watched as the mother cried out her tears, snorting into a tissue. I felt sorry for her, but who wouldn't? She just lost her child. "Well.. even if she could've gotten a transplant last week, she probably would've died anyway. Don't hold it against me. To save people's lives, you have to abandon your ideals." "I don't mind. It doesn't bother me at all. It's part of the job." I walked away. It was a lie, somehow. Of course it bothered me, but I knew I needed to stop caring, cause this would be happening more and more.

The next months, I got more and more envelopes. I stopped caring at all. "Take care of it." "I will."

Shuntaro Chishiya

I got another envelope and my boss walked away. It was becoming more and more. I walked away, but then around a corner I heard something. "Take care of it." A doctor, who seemed in higher position as the woman said. I saw her often around, she catched my eye a lot of times. Her soft face, her brunette hair and the sparkle in her green eyes, that slowly vanished away after some months. She came here before me, as I came, she was already a pair of months in this hospital. I saw that her face got colder and more emotionless as the time went by. "You know what...", she slowly said. The woman got an envelope too, it looked like she has got it much more often than me. "I'm not going to take care of it." The other doctor looked at her with wide eyes. "I know that I said I wouldn't care, but I did. Do you know how hard it was for me to tell them their child is going to die? I'm sick of the parents that beg me to spare their child's lives. Asking me If I'm joking." She wasn't lying, i lived through the exact same. Her face, on the other side, was full of anger. "What do you want to say with that?", her boss asked. "I'm quitting." She threw the envelope on the floor, took of her ID and pushed it into his hands. "Goodbye." With that, she walked away, into the direction of me. As the woman walked past me, she looked into my eyes, and I could swear she had a small smile on her face.

Flashback end

3 months later

Mizuno Yuna

After I quitted, I realized I took a weight of me. I couldn't stop thinking about the blonde man. He was so.. beautiful. I saw him often in the hospital, he also got the envelopes, but not as much I got. I knew he listened to the conversation, but I didn't care. I didn't care at all.

I sat on my bed and was reading a book. The lights started to flicker, then turned off, making me turn my head up. I stood up and grabbed the knife from my cupboard, for defending only of course. After I searched through the whole building, I realised everyone was gone. Not even my drug dealer neighbour was there anymore, and he never left his apartment. My body took me to the streets and there, I realised. "Everybody's gone."