glitch

FOUR

December 2014

The first thing Jane saw when she opened her eyes was a Triscuit cracker sitting in a puddle of water. She blinked and rubbed her eyes, then saw the empty plastic water bottle lying next to a dark spot on the carpet.

She looked down at herself, still wearing last night's outfit. Her black sweater had seemed so trendy and sophisticated when she picked it out, but in reality, it was average and now smelled of tequila and deodorant sweat. She pulled back the duvet and looked at her feet: pink and swollen as an infant's cheeks. Her shoes, surprisingly, had been placed neatly by the chair across from the bed.

She scanned the rest of the hotel room. Her purse was sitting on the same chair by her shoes. The Triscuit box was sitting open on the desk. The bathroom light was on and the fan whirred loudly. Her phone was face-down on the nightstand, somehow just escaping the edge of the water.

Jane reached and felt her clammy hand glue to her phone as she picked it up. She squinted as the screen lit up with multiple text messages and two missed calls that were both from her mother. A greasy thumbprint was left on the screen as she tapped on the first message.

Gigi: Hey girl! So glad came out tonight!!!! Tay said she you to normal?? Sorry didn't say goodbye 😢 Hope you had a funny time tho!! 💖

Jane stared absently across the room, trying to remember what happened. She met up with Gigi and her friends at the bar and it was definitely awkward. She'd never been one of those people who made instant friends. She always paused for too long or didn't ask the right questions. She could sense this disconnect between her and Gigi's friends right away, and so to compensate for her lack of adequacy she drank.

She counted the drinks on her fingers. Two margaritas, one vodka soda, and the tequila shot she took with Taylor Swift. It didn't seem like much, but then again, college had sort of skewed her perspective as far as what a "normal" amount of alcohol was. She closed her eyes, picturing Taylor's dark blue eyes staring back at her, then disappearing. After that, her memory became fuzzy, like right before you wake up and you can almost feel the dream slipping away.

The timestamp on Gigi's message was 12:57 am. So she mustn't have been out very long, then. A vision of a black sunroof flashed across her mind. She held on to it, trying to see if it would conjure any other fragments of her memory, but nothing else came to her.

Suddenly, her phone buzzed to life, causing her to jump. She sighed heavily as she brought it to her ear, "What's up, Mom?"

"Well, good morning to you too!" Theresa chirped. There was a noticeable snap in her voice. "I wasn't sure if you'd answer me, but I guess the third time's a charm."

Jane pinched the bridge of her nose with her thumb and index finger, closing her eyes. "Sorry, I was sleeping. Is there something you need to talk about?"

"Sleeping? It's ten am! Aren't you supposed to be at one of your workout classes? Or meeting with your agent?" Theresa fretted.

"Nope, but thanks for breathing down my neck. It's nice this time of year when it's so cold out," Jane said, biting a hangnail on her thumb.

Theresa scoffed, "All I did was call to see how you're doing. Am I not allowed to do that anymore? Are you suddenly too grown up, too independent and important to talk to your own mother?"

Jane pressed her lips together as she stared at the disgusting cracker on the nightstand. She knew exactly what angle her mother was going for; the victim of her ungrateful, selfish daughter. It was her first and only go-to weapon, and it barely took anything for her to use it. A hint of sarcasm, a sigh that was a little too deep, and she was clawing for anyone to feel sorry for her. It wasn't until college that Jane realized distance was her own weapon, and it made her mother's seem useless.