Broken (thomas-brodie sangster fanfic)

Memories

TW : self harm
Abuse?

Your POV / Madison's POV:

You woke up at 4 in the morning breathing heavily and covered in sweat. You had a terrifying nightmare and you couldn't go back to sleep. It reminded you of your long gone parents. And your ex. It was a horrible night that night. The last night you'd ever have with your parents and brother as a family. But you didn't know. What you saw horrified you. After that night, everything went downhill. You would harm yourself with a blade believing that what happened to your parents was your fault. The scars of you cutting yourself are still on your arm. You always wore long sleeves so no one would know. You looked down at your arm and cried your eyes out. Your brother didn't know about the scars or the situation you were in. You covered it up with a lie that you had run away. By the time you calmed yourself down it wad 6. You got out of bed and used the bathroom.

You changed out of your pyjamas and into dark blue denim jeans, white trainers, a white shirt that said 'a little spark of hope is what you need' and threw on your dad's old black hoodie. You put your hair in a messy bun.

You went downstairs and made yourself cereal. After you ate you cleaned up. By the time you were done it was half 7. You had to be in work by 9 so you had 1hour and 30 minutes to yourself. You looked in the mirror and you had eye bags. Really bad eye bags. You tried to cover it up with make up but it wouldn't work. 'I'll just have to put on a convincing act' you thought. You got out at half 8 and arrived at the studio at 8:50. You got out of your car and headed into the studio. You weren't as nervous as you were yesterday as you had gotten to know the cast more.

You headed inside but not before Max stopped you. "Are you alright? You look like you didn't get enough sleep." You just nodded as you headed inside. You felt bad for not telling him what was going on. You know he'd suggest something like therapy or counselling. But you already tried that. It wasn't helpful as you thought it would be.

Before you went over to the others you noticed Kaya wasn't there. Wes came over to you and said " Can you play  Teresa? Kaya won't be able to make it for the movie due to some family problems." He looked at you practically pleading you with his eyes. He looked desperate. You eventually nodded and went to where the boys were. You sat there silently afraid if you were to speak that you would break down. Everyone was already talking and you saw your Max. He gave you a smile and you lightly smiled back.

Soon the guys were called to film their scene. They did a really good job. You were nervous when you would be on set playing Teresa. You had never gotten a big acting role before.

Max came and sat down next to you. "Congratulations. I thought they would put out open casting calls to find someone to play Teresa." You just nodded afraid of breaking down in front of him. You were still really tired and needed something to distract you from this morning which is why you came.  But nothing worked. The boys were being idiots but that didn't work. No matter how idiotic they were. Your brother looked at you worryingly knowing something was wrong with you. He left after 10 minutes when Wes needed his help.

You went outside for some fresh air. Before you know it silent tears are streaming down your cheeks. You pull your sleeve up looking at the cuts on your arm. They formed three words. 'All my fault'. By just looking at your arm you broke down even further. You heard someone coming outside so you quickly pulled your sleeve down and wiped your tears. You hear a voice say "You alright love?" You knew it was Thomas. You didn't know how you knew. You just did. You shook your head and let yourself sit down. You broke and started crying. Tears once again streaming down your cheeks. Thomas sat down and put his arm around you, comforting you. "Wanna speak about it?"he asked.
"No. I'd rather not. Thanks for asking though."
"It's alright."
More tears stream down your cheeks. You slowly put your head on Thomas' shoulder. He stroked your hair, calming you down. After a while the tears stopped and Thomas looked at you after you lifted your head off his shoulder. You said " Thanks."
" No problem."

The two of you went inside amd sat with everyone else. Max came and asked to talk to you. You went with him and decided that you needed someone. Thomas was there for you and you would tell him why. The time felt right but right now you just wanted to tell him because you felt bad and you needed someone who understood your stress amd the way you are. He took you to your trailer and asked "What's going on? And don't say your fine because you're clearly not. I can tell you've been crying."