I just realized that school ends in a week. June 9. Only, that's senior picnic day. And he is a senior. June 8, 2023 might be the last time I walk a little faster or a little slower in the halls. June 8, 2023 might be the last day I look at him with nothing but remorse in my eyes while he tries to avoid them. June 8, 2023 would have been 4 days after our 2 months. I realize we only dated for a month. But it ended so quickly, and he was the most i've ever had at one point in my life. You can't just let that go. After all the shit I have been handed, he truly was the best thing that had ever happened to me. And the way he left, it damaged my heart. I don't think i'll ever be able to trust someone again. And I wish we had more time with each other, because I am suffocating in the world without him by my side. I see him every day and I just continue to shatter because I miss his eyes, and his hair, and his hands, and his kiss. I miss everything about that tall, stupid man. He's going to college locally and is staying home but I fear I won't ever see him again. I don't want to lose him. Even if it's from a distance, I don't want to lose him. I'm so alone in this world and I really want him to just text me, and tell me he misses me. And tell me he fucked up. And tell me he can't stop thinking about me and that he made a mistake. But he won't. Even if he wanted to, he won't. I come across things every day in my life that he doesn't know about. People in my family, stories i've never told, new things springing up in my life. I can't tell him. I want to, god knows I do. He's gone and I have to accept that he's never coming back to me. I just want to feel his kiss again. I think about it every day to the point where I can physically remember what it felt like. But he's gone. And Zach Bryan said it best, "Life is as fleeting as a passing dawn."
