Can't Be Without You | Jungkook

Part 8

**

Every minute that passes that doesn't have Jungkook knocking on your door, you feel like getting sicker, you could almost taste the bile that shouldn't even be there. It's past 11PM and your best friend hasn't arrived. He hasn't been picking up your calls, either, although he barely does after fights anyway.

It's on the fifth ring of the fifth call that Hoseok finally picks up. You hear the rave music in the background, indicating he's back at the club that he runs, which means the fight had been over a while. He and Namjoon never miss Jungkook's fights; they're the ones who bring him home when he's unable to. Perhaps Jungkook isn't all that battered that they didn't need to take him to your place.

"Oh, thank god you picked up!" You say as the man calls out your name. "You didn't drop off Jungkook at my place and I've been so worried."

You're met with silence, which is rare for Hoseok.

"He asked to get dropped off at his place," he finally says.

"So he's okay? Can patch himself up on his own?" You ask, the worry you'd been feeling slowly dissipating.

You hear Hoseok release a deep breath and that worry comes back up again.

"Iseul was there with that 40-year old businessman she left Jungkook for," he says, and your heart breaks for your best friend. He really liked her; you'd cursed yourself multiple times for how jealous you were of her.

"Oh. Did he see her?" You ask, hoping he didn't.

"Jungkook fought the man, ___. Iseul said some shit to him and before we know it, he was punching the man's face like a fucking sandbag. Like he was possessed or something, took so much screaming from me and Namjoon for him to finally stop," Hoseok replies, feeling even more guilty that he didn't get to stop his friend much earlier. "He'd... he'd never been like that, in all the years we've seen him fight, ___. He'd never been that angry, that violent."

You suddenly feel dizzy. This was the second thing you'd always been scared of - you didn't want to lose him to this world, to lose himself in the violence, in the anger. You'd long figured out that aside from the money that he earns, Jungkook fights because he's angry at himself. It's been his form of release due to the guilt and shame he'd felt all these years.

You know that when he's able to let all that go, he could walk away from this. That's why you'd been working on helping Jungkook come to terms with what happened 6 years ago and forgive himself; you know that would be the only way he'd quit. It wasn't so much about the money; it was more about the violence he couldn't inflict on himself so he let others do it for him.

He'd been able to keep himself in check; that's what Namjoon and Hoseok tell you. They watch to make sure he doesn't go overboard, that he doesn't do something he'll regret. That wasn't the case tonight, apparently.

"You're sure he's just home?" You ask, pulling on your leggings and sweatshirt, readying to leave.

"Yeah. He kicked us out after we brought him up."

"How bad is his face?"

"His face is fine. It's... it's his hands, ___. I don't think he even realized he was punching the floor when he missed."

You could hear the disappointment in Hoseok's voice, like he'd let Jungkook down the same way Jungkook let him down.

"You're the only one who can get to him, ___. Please help him."

"I'll try. Thank you. I'll let you know how he is," you respond. You grab your medical kit and head out the door.

**

Steady knocks are what Jungkook hears from where he's seated on the floor by his studio room's entrance. He's been sitting there for an hour since his friends dropped him off and he kicked them out. He didn't mean to shout at them; clearly, they'd just been worried. But he was filled with so much rage, he couldn't help it.

Iseul was right about him; it just hits differently when someone who hasn't been a part of his life for over a year says it that way, but she didn't have to bring you in, didn't have to say that about you. That's really what did it for him; no one gets to talk about you like that. After that, it was all about inflicting pain on the person she loves, that she left him for.

But her words still linger. You, in love with him? How did he not see it? He thinks back to when he overheard you crying to Aera about him months ago and there's that same feeling again - a tinge of guilt, but maybe hope? Excitement? Is there still a chance?

The knocking continues but it's when he hears your voice, calling out to please open up does he stand and unlock the door. The moment he does, he's met with teary eyes and a sigh of relief. He sees your eyes widen and all but jumps when you drop your things on the floor and hug him tightly.

You don't get mad, you don't ask questions; you don't even glare at him. You just stand there, arms wrapped around his torso, muffled cries as you tighten your grip, and all he does is place one hand behind your back and have the other pat your head.

"I'm okay, ___. I'm okay."

**