"Zia, based on your lab tests and blood tests, I'm so sorry to say that you have acute myeloid leukemia." Parang lahat ng pangarap ko ay gumuho dahil sa narinig ko.
"Are you sure of that, Doc. Hindi kaya dahil lang sa pagod sa line of work ko?" I was hoping na mali siya. I don't know what to do. I don't want it. I wanna live. I don't want to die with the disease that killed my biological mother. I'm scared.
"Zia, if you want second opinion I can recommend you to other hospitals and the hospital in LA. Just like what your mother did." I agreed. I need a second opinion.
"But let me tell you that your cancer is highly progressive. Yung mga nararamdaman mo ay symptoms of your disease. Yung pagod, bruises and dizziness, it is because of your disease." dugtong pa niya. Totoo, I am experiencing those kinds of things that's why I decided to check with our family doctor.
"Anong pwede nating gawin, doc." mahinahong sabi ko.
"We can do a chemotherapy or stem cell therapy." di ko na naintindihan ang iba pang sinasabi ni Doc Shan. My mom died when I was a kid and I was with her when that happened. I saw how my dad and brother lost themselves during that time. I don't want them to experience the same feeling again. "But first, we need to tell this to your family." napabalikwas ako sa huling sinabi ni Doc Shan.
"NO!" pasigaw na sabi ko. I can't bare to see them worry and sad. This is my battle, I don't want to burden them with my disease.
"But you need a strong support system. You are on your weakest point right now." I know he is just worried about me. He became my second father. He's my ninong. My mom and Doc Shan are bestfriends.
"I don't want them to experience what they felt when mommy died." I can see sadness in his eyes. "So please Ninong Shan, I'm begging you. Don't tell my family about this, especially Daddy." he is happy now with his new wife and my little sister. I don't want him to remember the hardships we've been through when my mom dies. "Lalaban ako ninong, I promise." I raised my hand, gesturing a promise sign. "Ako na lang po ang magsasabi sa kanila when I am ready and strong enough." I gave him my sweetest smile. My dad told me that my smile can ease a lot of pain and sorrow that people are feeling. Tila umepekto to kay Ninong because he sighed and nodded.
After a certain reminders and giving me medicines for pain killers, I stood up and bid my goodbye to Doc Shan.
Lumabas ako ng hospital na hindi pa rin alam kung anong nangyayari, I've been diagnosed with cancer and I can't help myself but to feel worry and sad. This is not the life I've imagined. I have many things that I want to achieve.
"Si Zianna Neptuno yun!" I heard one girl shouted. I bow down my head to search for my facemask in my bag pero hindi ko makita. No choice, I need to face them. I wear my sweetest smile and lift up my head. I don't want to brag but I am one of the top models here in the Philippines and internationally.
"Hi." I sweetly greeted.
"Ahm. Pwede po bang magpapicture?" I nodded and took a pictures with them. Dahil dito marami pa ang lumapit para makakuha ng pictures kasama ako. Some are taking their videos of me. Kapag hindi pa ako umalis ay baka dumating na rin ang media to corner me.
Good thing I saw Megan's car, my bestfriend slash PA. I respectfully bid my good byes to the fans and quickly hopped in Megan's car.
I sighed a deep breath as soon as I sat down.
"What are you doing here? Manager Ry have been reminding me of your engagement later with your new endorsement." She stated. Reminding me of my sched.
"I know. I'm sorry." Yun lang ang nasabi ko, I can't process all the things happened to me.
"Sorry din. Ano ba kasing ginagawa mo dito? May nararamdaman ka ba?" nakita ko ang pagguhit ng pag-aalala sa mga mata niya. Megan is the only one I considered as friend kaya ayokong malaman niya ang sakit ko. I don't want her to worry too. She's too precious to be hurt.
"Kinuha ko lang yung vitamins na binigay ni Ninong and dead batt ako kaya di ko napansin yung mga tumatawag." I said smiling.
"It's okay. Saan muna tayo? Mamaya pang 5pm ang meeting niyo with Mr. Go." I just want to process all the things happened.
"Sa condo muna tayo, Meg. I need to freshen up" I said half way truth. "Meg." she looked at the rear view mirror when I called her "What will you do if you are going to die?" napahinto naman siya sa pagdadrive at muntikan na akong mauntog.
"Careful." I said. Tinabi niya ang kotse sa gilid ng daan at hinarap ako.
"What's with you? Why are you asking that?" I hide my pain with my smile.
"Ang OA ah!" hinampas ko siya "I'm just asking kasi may napanood akong movie and ang sad ng ending. The woman died." It might happen to me too.
"Oww. Ang random naman kasi ng question mo." nag-ayos na ulit siya para magdrive. "Pero oo nga, ang sad nung ending but if I was the girl, I'll fight for my life even if it means losing it. Para at the end of the battle, I can say that I fought." and that caught me off guard. It brings hope to my heart.
"Yah. I'll do the same." I gave her a reassuring smile kahit di niya alam para saan yun.
Di rin naman nagtagal ang byahe ay nakarating na kami sa condo. I immediately went to my room to get my bathrobe and towel then went straight to the bathroom.
As soon as I entered the bathroom, I cry my heart out. This is not happening. Mommy.....
After so many years I still call her name. I want your comfort mommy. I don't wanna die.
I covered my mouth for I know Megan is in my living room and she will hear me crying.
I looked at myself in the mirror, you need to fight Zia. You don't want other people to cry because of you, right? I am talking to myself. Kailangan mong lumaban gaya ng sinasabi ni Megan.
And with that, I promised myself to fight this battle alone.
