I remember that it hurt.
Looking at her hurt.
As I sit in the back of a cold, slow-motioned classroom that we call Advanced Studies in Literature II, I can't help but steal glances at the girl I'll never come close to. Despite the odds of her ever considering me, she's the only source of warmth among the organized desks that hold tiresome bodies in rows of fifteen.
Professor Strickland, my monotone and middle-aged Literature professor, is rambling on about the tasteful irony that is Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. I've been curious ever since I stepped foot in this classroom — the second finger on Professor Strickland's left hand remains bare ever since I came across him during my first day of Advanced Literature I. I wonder if he's still continuing the search for that light-bearing soul that has yet to cross his path. Maybe he's as lost as I am.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not the self-brooding, college athlete you would normally see sitting in the back of most lectures. Most people here discovered who I am ever since I began filming my travels across the world. Despite the growth on social media and the praise I've received, I feel as though something's missing that could be right in front of me, yet constantly overlooked. I have everything I could possibly need but the real question is do I have everything I want?
"[Y/L/N], can you relate the fate of Romeo to a modern-day dilemma for the class?" Professor Srickland's monotone voice pulls me from my thoughts at the strike of my last name. Looking up at him, I try to catch up to reality and remember the question that was just given to me. Before answering I feel a specific pair of hazel eyes on me and I look in the direction of my only source of light. Sitting a row away and three desks towards the front of the classroom is the girl I've been losing my breath over since the day she arrived at Mount Vernon.
With eyes that could see right through me, I peel mine away in order to answer the question that has been floating above me since it was delivered. "I suppose his fate relates to several dilemmas. You could fall head over heels for someone, everyone could judge you for it and think you're out of your mind. Things come and go these days, just as they did back then. Losing someone is everyone's dilemma, Strickland. Romeo couldn't handle it."
The room falls quiet and I look down at my tattered book of Romeo and Juliet in hopes that she turns back around. Time stands still as my eyes slowly move up in the direction of her desk. To my surprise, she's still looking at me but her expression has changed from patience to curiosity. We look at one another for what feels like minutes until Strickland's voice continues off of my forced participation. A small smile curves at the corner of her lips and she turns back to face the professor. I close my eyes and let out a breath that I didn't realize I was holding.
Hailee Steinfeld, the girl I've been spending more time admiring than conversing with. It's her second and final year at Mount Vernon and I still can't believe someone could hold all the beauty in the world. During her first year at Mount Vernon, a student noticed her name on the roster of one of their classes and word quickly got around that she was strictly taking classes online. Everyone suspects that she decided to attend campus during her final semester in order to experience 'college life.'
Her long hair and structured facial features make her presence stand out among the bodies surrounding us. Her laugh contains more warmth than any laugh I've ever heard, her eyebrows always crease her forehead when she's frustrated, concentrating on her work, or having a conversation that she's entangled in. I'm unsure what it is but there's something about her eyes. I feel as though they could see the good in anyone, even if there is none.
Ironically, she's a celebrity. Growing up as an actress, she has branched into the music industry over time to diversify her talents. From what I've gathered through overheard gossip is that she completed her first two years of college online. What I'm unsure of is why someone of her success needs a degree in anything, although I do admire her for it. Mount Vernon wouldn't be half as warm without her.
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Flowers on the Floor
FanfictionIn the quaint city of Thousand Oaks, California, Y/N is a well-known college-athlete with a desire to discover herself. Devoting her energy to academics and personal growth, she finds solace in the serenity of her own world. But fate has a peculiar...