Slow Down

LAP 4

It's ten minutes before the race. I'm currently crouched in a corner, my headphones blasting 'Dream On' by Aerosmith while I keep my eyes trained on the ground. The shadows of people running around cast on my feet, yet all the commotion going on is blocked by the loud music.
  
I've found that I focus better when I listen to music before I do something. For five minutes sharp, I sit down in the suit-up area that's towards the rear of the room, wrap my arms around my head and blast a song that resonates with my mood.
  
Today I'm feeling quite confident. I slept well and woke up before my alarm went off, giving me time to start off my day at a slow pace; I took a shower, had a rich breakfast and went for a jog, before I left the hotel with Hoshi at around ten.
  
The weather's also in our favor. It was raining really hard right after we left the paddock and it kept going for hours, but today there are no clouds to be seen, the sun burning bright. The track is still wet at some parts, nothing too worrisome though.
  
The song comes to an end. I take off my headphones and put them on my bag, then stand up and head over to Hoshi.
  
"I'm fucking starving." Is what I tell him when he leans in to have a better listen. He throws his head back in a laugh.
  
"Same here, didn't have breakfast." He coos, receiving an elbow nudge on his side. "What? I was running late!"
  
"Don't pull all-nighters then."
  
He scratches the back of his head. "It's the only time of the day I get to talk to Yua... She got her driver's license yesterday!" He excitedly adds with a clap of his hands and I almost roll my eyes. Then again, I don't want to come off as sour or annoyed.

The fact that I'm stuck with a cheater of a boyfriend who doesn't show me an ounce of affection has nothing to do with Hoshi being in a loving and healthy relationship - even if he has to pull all-nighters just to catch up with his girlfriend. His dedication is what makes me kind of jealous; Mattias wouldn't know what that is.
  
"Good for her... but still. Ain't you tired?" He shakes his head. "I highly doubt that." I point at the faint purple circles under his eyes while taking a sip from my Red Bull.
  
"It's worth it though, even if it costs me a good position."
  
"Oh man." I stutter under my breath. He can't be serious.
  
"Five minutes!" Someone announces somewhere close. We both zip up our suits and walk towards our respective cars. I put a hand on the halo to steady myself and swing one leg into the cockpit, then the other, sliding half my body in. As I sink in further, I hook my arms over the halo and push my body down, settling myself on the seat.
  
An engineer hands me the earpieces and my balaclava. I put them on and adjust the wire so that it won't sit uncomfortably against my skin.

Someone else hands me my helmet. Its surface adorns Red Bull's colors and my number written on top, the Australian flag coloring it in. It's quite the simple design, which I did on purpose; I'm determined to pour all of my creativity on the Australian one. I put on the HANS and connect it with the back of the helmet.
  
I'm handed my steering wheel, which I slot in its spot. "Radio check, radio check. Do you copy?" Michael's voice rings through my ears after a few beats.
  
"Loud and clear." My voice wavers, the blood pumping quickly through my veins to the point that it feels like they'll pop. My hands shake from the rush of adrenaline as I tighten my grip on the wheel, the engineers taking off the tire warmers as the one outside of the garage signs for me to exit.
  
There's no way I'm losing today.

꒰🏁꒱

At this point, I should just stop thinking.
  
It's as if the universe is conspiring against me, listening to my thoughts and laughing at my face.
  
Because how the hell did I end up in P6 on the first ten laps?
  
The start was smooth and I was leading for seven laps, only to slip on turn 6, immediately being overtaken by Ethan's Ferrari. I tried to claim the inside of turn 7, but it was as if the steering wheel was out of my control. Sauber took the chance and passed, followed by an Alpine, a Haas and an Alfa-Romeo. Michael informs me that it's Bianch.
  
We're starting lap 13 when I attempt to overtake him on the straight, only for him to maneuver every time I try to; now I'm stuck tailgating him. It goes like this for the next five turns, until we enter the DRS zone on Sector One and the engineer informs me that it's available.